September 26, 2003  
Volume 97, Issue 17  

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What you see is what you get

What the Shuk?
Mark Polishuk

Opinions Editor

The best lack all convictions, while the worst are full of passionate intensity.
- W.B. Yeats

If there's ever a quote that sums up the Ontario Liberal and Progressive Conservative parties, this is it. We're less than a week away from the election for premier and Ontarians have the unique opportunity to vote for a party they can rely on.

In the case of the Liberals, they can be relied on to do nothing. We've seen it over the last 10 years at the federal level with Jean Chretien; the most memorable Chretien moments for me were his getting pie-faced and playing a round of golf with Tiger Woods at the Canadian Open. Besides that, it's been a decade of nothing with a side helping of nothing in Ottawa.

The Ontario people have caught on to this, which is why all the talk about Dalton McGuinty has been about his snazzy new image. Instead of the uncomfortable-looking, stiff robot we saw back in 1999, now we have... a robot who does commercials against a brick wall background. Wow, he's hip and urban! We'd best be careful not to confuse him with Ludacris.

The fact Al Gore version 2.0 is leading in the polls is a sign of just how badly the Conservatives have dropped the ball. I will still vote Liberal because, on the chance McGuinty actually feels proactive, I agree with several of the things that could get done. I don't agree with many of the policies of the PCs, but on the other hand, they live up to their promises. Mike Harris, when he was first elected in 1995, promised to cut spending and by God he sure did that. Then again, Hitler kept a lot of his campaign promises too and that didn't exactly work out so well. Ontario's hospitals and schools are smoldering craters, but hey, at least the corporations got what they wanted.

There's also Howard Hampton and the NDP (which stands for No Damn hoPe), who I'd actually vote for if I thought they had a chance of winning. The NDP still have a way to go before they live down the stigma of "Jim" Bob Rae's premiership a decade ago - no truth to the rumour Rae actually used to set fire to piles of money on the Queen's Park lawn, by the way.

So in this era where politicians lie, cheat and steal even worse than Eddie Guerrero, it's heartening to know Ontario can forget this caveat emptor crap. We know exactly what we'll get if we elect either Dalton McGuinty or Ernie "Hair Gel" Eves.

Or, if you want unpredictability, you could just vote for the Freedom Party. You could also be unpredictable by walking into the voting station and swallowing your ballot - which is pretty much the equivalent.





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