September 26, 2003  
Volume 97, Issue 17  

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SPORTS

Letters from the edge

What the Shuk?
Mark Polishuk

Opinions Editor

Dear Brett Favre,

It's been quite a ride over your 11 years in Green Bay. Three MVP awards, eight playoff appearances, a painkiller addiction, a record-setting consecutive games played streak and a Super Bowl win. That's a Hall of Fame resumé with absolutely nothing left to prove.

So quit.

It's hard for me to admit as a longtime Packers fan (I even own a cheesehead), but you guys are done this season. I know it's never a good idea to completely rule a team out in the National Parity League, but you guys, to quote Homer Simpson, are the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

Your record is 1-2, which includes a win over the Lions (yawn), a loss to Minnesota, whose star player (Randy Moss) decides not to try on a weekly basis and a loss to... the Arizona Friggin' Cardinals. I think the Mustangs could beat these guys.

The last play of that Arizona game, as you no doubt recall, was an interception. You've become familiar with those in the last two years, Brett. Sure, you've always been a feast-or-famine type of quarterback, but remember back in the good ol' days, when you had the accuracy, arm and just plain balls to throw a missile into double coverage and still find a receiver. Those tosses are getting intercepted on a more regular basis now.

Brett, the Packers' woes are certainly not all your fault. The defense is OK, but won't win any games on their own. Your receivers are mediocre at best and they can no longer make the clutch catches Antonio Freeman or Robert Brooks did back in the day. There's also the play calling of offensive coordinator Tom Rossley. If you do retire Brett, could you take Rossley with you? He can mow your lawn or something.

It's very possible you have some good football left and I hope we see it sometime this season. Your retirement, Brett is intended as a symbolic gesture. Your retirement will mark the end of the 1990's glory era in Green Bay, a necessary step in bringing the lustre back to the gold and green. Dallas had to fire Tom Landry before they could begin a new Cowboys dynasty. The best thing the Packers could do is burn everything down and build it back up around Ahman Green, who still has a lot of gas left in the tank.

Also, your retirement would end what I like to call the Curse of Strahan. Remember the last game of 2001, where you intentionally took a sack from Michael Strahan of the Giants so he could set a new record for sacks in a year? Would Randy Johnson throw a floater to Barry Bonds if Barry was going for homer number 74? Hell no. The football gods took this as a slap in the face and thus, have decided to curse you (and thus, Green Bay) for the rest of your career.

So in conclusion, you can stay around for one more year to break in a young kid who can quarterback the Packers to future Super Bowls. After that, it's time to call it a career and head home to Mississippi until the Hall of Fame comes calling. In the words of another great (off-field) gambler, you've got to know when to hold them and when to fold them.

 

 

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