September 30, 2003  
Volume 97, Issue 18  

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Eating and sex together at last!

By Brian Wong
Gazette Staff

This week, the Tuesday Tease and All You Can Eat join forces to discuss that deliciously sexy relationship between sex and food.

The hottest scene in last summer's The Matrix: Reloaded was not the one in which Neo and Trinity were fucking. No, it was the scene where the woman is served a slice of dark chocolate cake that when ingested, induces a gut-busting orgasm, sending her into sighs of ecstasy.

While we all wish obtaining The Big O was as easy as eating dessert, the reality is getting off takes hard work. This is why food was invented - to make licking, tasting, sucking and eating out as familiar as possible.

Some may be tempted to take the edible-undies-and-flavoured-condoms route. Others will stick with the conventional food choices: whipped cream, chocolate syrup, strawberries, Count Chocula cereal, goldfish crackers... er, nevermind.

But wait. Why NOT cereal and crackers? If food is supposed to help make sex more interesting, why not deviate from the usual aphrodisiacs and find foods that are actually interesting? Here are a few suggestions.

Post Alpha Bits Cereal: without the alphabet, we couldn't even spell 'sex.' With your partner, take turns spelling out dirty words using the cereal and eat them off each other. It's even more fun when you place the word near the body part - ie. 'ASSHOLE' would be eaten where? Near the asshole!

A whole chicken: the game here is to taste a piece of chicken and then taste the corresponding body part. Chicken breast - human breast. Chicken thigh - human thigh. Chicken head - yeah.

Betty Crocker's Fruit Gushers fruit snacks: this snack comes in a variety of flavours. It's sweet, but after sucking for a long time, an even sweeter liquid substance runs out.

The key to combining food and sex is experimentation. So quit with the overdone creams and syrups go out to the supermarket and stick some new things in your basket.




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