September 30, 2003  
Volume 97, Issue 18  

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NEWS

Nude dude getting rude, flashing pubes

By Chris Sinal
Gazette Staff

Unlike many other long-standing Western traditions being celebrated this month, the return of lonely men jumping from the woods and frantically waving their genitals at unsuspecting passers-by has yet to yield any celebratory parades or well-to-do soirees.

Four incidents of public indecency have been reported, said Sgt. Michael Micks, acting manager of the Campus Community Police Service.

Three of the incidents occurred near wooded areas on campus where a man wearing only a blue or purple mask and sneakers emerged from the woods when a female pedestrian passed by. "People need to be aware of their surroundings and look far enough ahead to see if there is anything unusual," he said.

According to Micks, if one encounters a na'er-do-well of the nude kind, one should immediately call campus police from a blue emergency phone or free from any pay phone on campus. Callers should try to remember the largest descriptors possible, including information such as the individual's race, gender and clothing (or absence thereof).

"The assistance of the community, with timely information containing as much detail as possible, will help us catch the individual responsible," Micks said.

"Students should not be too alarmed, but need to take responsibility for being aware of what's going on around them," said Adrienne Kennedy, VP-campus issues for the University Students' Council. Kennedy encouraged students to use Foot Patrol, walk in pairs and report incidents as quickly as possible.

"My theory is that some people like to be naked more than other people - they're the ones that always whipped off their diapers as a kid," said first-year health sciences student Laura Robson.

"No, wait. Actually, I think he's the guy that didn't whip off his diaper and now he's trying to make up for it," first-year science student Jeremy Lundy.

 

 

 

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