EDITORIAL & OPINIONS
Give it to her straight
By: Lori Mastronardi
So, the year begins and you're ready to delve
into a new batch of firsts: first day of school, first new home
away from home and the first walk across the student haven known
as the unfinished Concrete Beach. ItŐs also your first trip
back to the bar, a scene of drunken guys and gals who are all
looking for the same thing.
Single kids get to indulge in the trickiest
of firsts: interactions with other sexy singles. The most difficult
part of this rather complex process lies in the first exchange
of words. Unfortunately, before you can progress to all the
fun stuff that follows the initial hot, eye-locking moment,
you usually have to say something. Sure, a lovely smile will
likely offer you a flashy one in return, but then what?
Since these introductions work as the building
blocks to possibly a solid foundation, plans on how to spark
them have to be intricately prepared. The first impression carries
a lot of weight. You've heard the tired and cheesy pick-up lines
like "I lost my virginity, can I borrow yours for the night?"
and the question of a past meeting: "Gosh, you look familiar."
The sneaky "asking for the time"
is always a popular route, but this method could definitely
use some polishing to improve its success rate. Maybe it should
go a little something like this:
The art of picking up is most successfully performed by good,
solid liars, because their words flow with such an enviable
ease. Whereas those shy, honest kids know they've never seen
you before and probably have a watch hidden in their pocket.
As a friend and I were eyeing potential bait for the night,
we jokingly suggested some pick-up lines. My cranberry and raspberry
vodka concoction was garnished ever so lovingly with some maraschino
cherries, so I contemplated putting them to better use. I soon
realized that perhaps offering my cherry at random may have
seemed a bit too forward, though surely would have gotten the
So whether you're as smooth as silk or painfully shy, you'll
likely come into contact with a blend of catchy and lame pick-up
attempts. Someone will eventually spawn your interest and if
all else fails, you can always speed up the process by indulging
in the magic of a strong liquid boost.