September 5, 2003  
Volume 97, Issue 5  

Front Page >> Editorial & Opinions > Celibacy-avoiding icebreakers

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EDITORIAL & OPINIONS

Celibacy-avoiding icebreakers

Give it to her straight
By: Lori Mastronardi

A&E Editor

So, the year begins and you're ready to delve into a new batch of firsts: first day of school, first new home away from home and the first walk across the student haven known as the unfinished Concrete Beach. ItŐs also your first trip back to the bar, a scene of drunken guys and gals who are all looking for the same thing.

Single kids get to indulge in the trickiest of firsts: interactions with other sexy singles. The most difficult part of this rather complex process lies in the first exchange of words. Unfortunately, before you can progress to all the fun stuff that follows the initial hot, eye-locking moment, you usually have to say something. Sure, a lovely smile will likely offer you a flashy one in return, but then what?

Since these introductions work as the building blocks to possibly a solid foundation, plans on how to spark them have to be intricately prepared. The first impression carries a lot of weight. You've heard the tired and cheesy pick-up lines like "I lost my virginity, can I borrow yours for the night?" and the question of a past meeting: "Gosh, you look familiar."

The sneaky "asking for the time" is always a popular route, but this method could definitely use some polishing to improve its success rate. Maybe it should go a little something like this:

You - "Can I get the time?"
Them - "It's 4:30"
You - "What are you doing at 5?"

The art of picking up is most successfully performed by good, solid liars, because their words flow with such an enviable ease. Whereas those shy, honest kids know they've never seen you before and probably have a watch hidden in their pocket.

As a friend and I were eyeing potential bait for the night, we jokingly suggested some pick-up lines. My cranberry and raspberry vodka concoction was garnished ever so lovingly with some maraschino cherries, so I contemplated putting them to better use. I soon realized that perhaps offering my cherry at random may have seemed a bit too forward, though surely would have gotten the message across.

So whether you're as smooth as silk or painfully shy, you'll likely come into contact with a blend of catchy and lame pick-up attempts. Someone will eventually spawn your interest and if all else fails, you can always speed up the process by indulging in the magic of a strong liquid boost.

 

 

 

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