Outside the Western
By: Jordan Bell
The instant you enter the gates of Western
as an innocent frosh (we're not talking about you Saugeen kids),
you're completely cut off from the outside world. Once you may
have known how many turnovers Allen Iverson had in the last
two minutes of the third quarter, now you won't even know who's
playing in the Stanley Cup (unless you can create a Bill Gates-like
monopoly of the common room television). The Gazette introduces
you to our weekly feature entitled "Outside the gates."
We'll attempt to keep news of athletes cheating on their hot
wives at a minimum.
110-metre hurdler Perdita Felicien
shocked the field at the 2003 World Track and Field Championships
in Paris, by claiming the gold medal for Canada. It's the first
medal in track and field for Canada since 1392 when Canuck Rogers
broke a world record in the rock throwing contest.
It's been a media frenzy in Toronto in the
Maple Leafs' quest for a general manager. The hunt finally ended
when the blue and white announced that John Ferguson
Jr. (former vice-president and director of hockey operations
for the St. Louis Blues) would assume the duties of former GM,
Pat Quinn. In other news, the Leafs still suck.
The Canadian national men's basketball
team was denied entry into the 2004 Summer Olympics
in Athens, Greece when they lost 79-66 to Puerto Rico in the
FIBA-Americas Olympic qualifying tournament in San Juan, Puerto
Rico. Word on the street is that Steve Nash's career with the
national team may be coming to an end - that sound you hear
is Canada's basketball future exploding like a Scud missile
on Saddam Hussien's bachelor pad.
Canadian sprinter Ben Johnson just found a
new best friend. 100 and 200-metre gold medalist Kelli White
of the United States tested positive for a banned stimulant
and is in jeopardy of losing her medals. White said her doctor
prescribed the drug for narcolepsy, or in layman's terms, to
win the 100 and 200-metre dashes.
Toronto Blue Jays pitcher Roy Halladay
was nearly flawless in a 8-1 victory over the New York Yankees
on Monday night, striking out 10 batters and yielding only four
hits. The victory places his record at 18-6 and keeps him in
the hunt for the American League CY Young Award. Unfortunately,
the rest of the Blue Jays rotation forgot how to pitch.
And in other Blue Jays news, the squad unveiled
their new logo, a 'meaner' substitute of their
former logo. Unfortunately, the logo can't pitch either.
Canadian pitcher Eric Gagne
(Montreal, QC) of the Los Angeles Dodgers set the record for
consecutive saves with 55. The record came in a 4-1 victory
over the Houston Astros on Tuesday night. Who said Canadians
could only play hockey?
Veteran standout goalie Mike Richter
of the New York Rangers has decided to retire. The
retirement comes after Richter was diagnosed with his second
concussion in eight months last November. Unfortunately, the
Rangers hopes now rest with Eric Lindros. Ouch.
And finally, in key personnel moves in the
NHL and NBA, the Boston Bruins signed Felix Potvin to a one-year
deal and the Indiana Pacers signed former Detroit Pistons coach
Rick Carlisle to replace Isiah Thomas who was fired on Aug.
27. Is it just me or does Thomas fail at everything... hahaha!