April 1, 2004  
Volume 97, Issue 96  

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Crap Notes

TONIGHT
FOOLED YA: That’s right, there’s nothing to do today, chump. Or maybe there is, and we just don’t want to tell you. Happy April Fools Day! (Mwahahaha... It’s hard to be this clever, it really is).

FRIDAY, APR. 2
THEATRE: The Penis Diatribes will be performed at The Joke tonight at 7 p.m., and will showcase a cast of angry men talking about their penises and how hard it is to say the word “penis” in public. PS: PENIS!

SATURDAY, APR. 3
LIVE MUSIC: Local Wealthy band the Something-or-Others will be playing somewhere at some time in support of their new disc, Some Piece of Crap. Tickets are most likely free, unless these guys are really stupid.

SUNDAY, APR. 4
TV: A new reality show is kicking off on our very own TV Wealthy! Catch Dress for Sex-ess tonight at 6 p.m.. The show follows a bunch of rich Wealthy kids in search of the perfect pair of Gucci pants to wear to the Ridout.

MONDAY, APR. 5
ART: An art show? At Museum London? Could they be serious? Yes, we are, and hold your excitement please. Pictures of Boring Stuff will be on display at the Museum until May. Better line up early for this one!

TUESDAY, APR. 6
CD: Today marks the release of the new disc from Wealthy heroes Cordaboy... oh wait, didn’t they change their name to Following the Herd or something? In other news, no one cares about Wealthy heroes.

WEDNESDAY, APR. 7
MOVIE: The Passion of the Jeebus will be showing at Wealthy Film for the next week, starting tonight. Admission is $2 or one crown of thorns. First person to convert to Christianity gets a free bag of popcorn.

 

 

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