Dear girls, love boys
Lollipop Masturbatey and Natalie D’Surf
What ever happened to blow jobs? You know, when you went down
on us and provided an incredible, incomparable sensation?
Don’t get us wrong: the sex is fantastic, but ever since
we started going at it you’ve completely abandoned the
oral form. We just wanted to inform you that a blow job is
not the same as sexual intercourse; both are highly stimulating
experiences, but of slightly differing genres. You see, your
vagina doesn’t have a tongue. Really, you’re vagina
doesn’t do anything. Whereas your mouth provides a warmer,
wetter and more sensitive feeling.
We have certain needs that should be met, and when you don’t
come through, honey, we’re left unsatisfied. We know
we can’t ask you for a blow job, but trust us, we always
want one. And if you’re worried that nice girls don’t
do that, just know that it’s not true what they say:
we will marry a girl who swallows.
We like it when you rest your head on our lap, but we would
love it if you took things a step further. If you do take the
hint, keep in mind that although it’s called a blow job,
don’t just blow — I want you to heat us up, not
cool us down. Oh, and please don’t eat bananas or suck
on Popsicles in front of us unless we know you’re practicing
We feel as though we spend a lot more time in your nether
regions than you do in ours; maybe because we are always ready
for sex, and you need a warm-up. Don’t assume a blow
job can’t be pleasurable for you — you get the
pleasure of making us happy. Plus, if it’s really good,
just give us time to recover, and I’ll return the favour.
Also, if we pull your hair, it isn’t degrading; it means
we really enjoy your work.
And finally, quit asking how we feel about you. You don’t
need to ask me; just see how quickly you make us cum.