April 7, 2004  
Volume 97, Issue 99  

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Celebrity Dartboard
Stick it on a wall, aim and throw!

Apart from fronting a totally derivative band, Chad Kroeger is the king of smarm and hands-down winner for the Rattiest Hair of the Year Award.

Yet despite all his failings, he still seems capable of selling albums. Only one question remains: why?

We’ve seen the evidence: snooze-inducing bread-rockers Nickelback have sold gazillions of albums and won award after award, including a most baffling win in the “Fan’s Choice” category at this year’s Junos.

But if all these fans exist, where are they? The common sentiment seems to be that “Nickelback sucks,” but they undeniably have fans somewhere... right?

Perhaps people are just ashamed to admit their allegiance to a band whose frontman is guilty of spawning such crapulent clones as Default and Theory of a Deadman.

In any case, here’s to hoping bread-rock dies a quiet death.



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