The final airing of grievances
So this is it. My final column for The Gazette
Most front office editors take this space to write retrospectives
on their time spent within the walls of Rm. 263 in the University
This, I assure you, will not be such a column. I have a lot
of great memories from the past three years here, but those
are best saved for another time. And quite frankly, they’d
be so personal you would have needed to work here to understand
what I was talking about.
I’ve spent the past year exposing my obsessive compulsive
disorder, my love of Oreos and my disgust of people wearing
bad shoes. Well, this column will veer away from those things
and present what I like best: a bitch list.
So, with that being said, I will now take the time to air
some frustration. As Frank Constanza said during the airing
of grievances at the Festivus dinner, “I got a lot of
problems with you people!”
Below is a list of things, that as Deputy Editor, I have come
to hate over the past year. To those who know me, they shouldn’t
come as a surprise.
Stupid/incompetent people: I hate these people the most. As
a student, they were the ones who asked questions in class
just to hear their own voices. This past year they have been
the ones who take 10 minutes to order food at The Spoke. They’re
also the ones who don’t know how to move to the back
of the bus. And they are the people who stand in the middle
of the stairs in the UCC and carry on coversations. These people
need to fuck off and die.
People with no sense of humour: To all the people who had
problems with content The Gazette ran this year, this one’s
for you. We are a STUDENT newspaper and our content is meant
to reflect that. This is the only chance we’ll have in
our budding journalism careers to have some fun, while at the
same time publishing the best damn student newspaper in the
country. If you want to take that away from us, then you can
fuck off and die too.
Student politicians: The past two years have intensified my
hatred for these people. They are the ones who talk WAY too
long at council meetings and take themselves so seriously that
they truly believe if they didn’t exist the world would
fall apart. As “real” politicians are some of the
most hated people on the face of the Earth — and these
people obviously are trying to be “real” politicians — then
it only makes sense that I hate them, too.
Bureaucracy/red tape: My job this year has been busy, what
with having to edit everything in the paper and dealing with
all the administrative tasks in the office. But I’ve
also spent the year working for a corporation that loves its
paper work, and this past year has given me the headache to
end all headaches because of it. And when they make changes,
adding to the amount of paper work I have to do just because
they want to cover their own asses, well my Italian rage goes
through the roof.
People that lie to my face: Don’t you think I’ll
find out eventually? Do you honestly believe that saying something
bad about me behind my back and then smiling politely to my
face when I see you won’t be found out? To them I say:
you poor, sad, stupid people. I know exactly how you feel.
The feeling’s mutual. I’m just willing to say it
to your face, while you’re not. And that my friends,
is what’s sad.