The critics failed to realize...
“It is a newspaper’s duty to
print the news and raise hell.” - Wilbur F. Storey
Emmett Macfarlane (Editor-in-chief), Paolo Zinatelli (Deputy
Editor) and myself opened the massive white door to The Gazette
office on May 1, 2003 with a clean slate. Almost 50 Gazette
staff members were crazy enough to give the three of us the
reins to the greatest student newspaper in Canada, as well
as the only daily university publication in the Great White
This year, we published an altered picture of a Trent University
student with slit wrists for a story about Trent’s Suicide
Week. “How dare The Gazette take such a nonchalant attitude
towards suicide,” the critics yelped. Unfortunately,
they failed to realize we were poking fun at our elementary
friends up north, not suicide.
We published an editorial cartoon showing that any time a
person legitimately critiques the policies of the Israeli government,
they are immediately labelled an anti-Semite. “How dare
The Gazette publish such inflammatory material towards Jews,” the
critics blasted. Unfortunately, they failed to realize that
by responding with such blindless vigour, they were clearly
proving the point we were trying to convey.
We published an editorial entirely about the vagina, making
jokes such as “How about a Penis Week?” “Did
the vagina cake taste like tuna?” and “Hitler as
a giant vagina.” “How dare The Gazette slander
the sacred vagina,” the critics orgasmed, er screamed,
er whispered. Unfortunately, they failed to realize we like
vagina. That’s it.
We published a Sex Issue with a cover containing six scantily
clad girls lying exotically on a bed. “How dare The Gazette
objectify women,” the critics argued, with one annoyed
reader even arguing that we were advocating the rape of women.
Unfortunately, they failed to realize the girls were all consenting
adults, it was a SEX ISSUE and it probably did more for the
lives of Western students than any bottle of Viagra or Sue
Johanson-endorsed dildo. And if our cover advocated rape, then
damn, I feel sorry for women when the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit
Issue hits stands.
We published a Spoof Issue called The Gazelle with a cover
containing six scantily clad boys lying exotically on a bed. “Wow,
that is so funny,” the same critics boasted. Interesting.
Critics were also pissed that we wrote stories about Jesus
and rub ’n’ tug shops. It’s a spoof issue — everything
is a joke. The stories are made up. You’re crazy.
So to the Israel Action Committee, Solidarity for Palestinian
Human Rights, Western Sports and Recreation Services, the University
Students’ Council, Housing, feminists and the many others
who bitched about the content in this year’s Gazette,
I offer you some evidence: the average pickup for The Gazette
is the highest it’s been since we starting counting.
Gazette readers have spoken, and we have raised hell.
I don’t know Wilbur F. Storey, but I do have one thing
to say to him as I ride off into the sunset: Mission accomplished.
The Gazette: “We’re smarter than people think.”