February 5, 2004  
Volume 97, Issue 70  

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Broadcast standards?

From the Far Lane
Emmett Macfarlane

Editor-in-Chief

The biggest question on my mind following the “controversial” Super Bowl half time show and its commercials is this: why are people so sensitive — or for that matter, insane?

In the United States, Federal Communications Commission chief Michael Powell is “investigating” the Janet Jackson breast-baring incident, noting that he was “personally offended by the whole production.”

Yeah right, Mike; you and 150 million other people just uncovered the latest Watergate scandal. And by the way, being so outraged at a mere glimpse of a boob makes it clear, that as an infant, you were bottle-fed.

Meanwhile here in Canada, the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council is reportedly “investigating” a Labatt Breweries advertisement that aired during the game because it featured a girl-on-girl lip lock.

What the hell is the matter with people?

Until examples of such organized stupidity disappear from existence, I truly have little faith in the human race’s capacity for survival.

Does North American society really need these moralistic, puritanical and troglodytic (not to mention government-regulated) organizations telling it that a flash of tit or a lesbian kiss is unacceptable? Can you imagine the vast amount of quasi-public resources being utterly wasted so the CBSC can tell Canadians that if the Labatt commercial aired at 10 p.m. instead of 9 p.m. it would have been OK?

Clearly, I’m an advocate of the “turn the channel if you don’t like what you see” argument when it comes to the censorship debate. And I’m sure Powell and his thick-headed, almost surely religious brethren would counter with a passionate “what about the children?”

You know what? Pretending to worry about “the children” is just a bullshit cop out by those personally offended; they think everyone else should be too. If your kid is going to grow up twisted or damaged, it won’t be because of Janet’s plastic melon; it’ll be because you’re a shitty parent.

Someone should tell Powell, and any of his other traumatized peers to either deal with the fact that no child who watched the Super Bowl will grow up to be a serial killer (from watching it, at least) or stick their heads even further up their asses and blow.

 

 

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