February 5, 2004  
Volume 97, Issue 70  

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SPORTS

Roundtable: Super Bowl halftime

Say what you will, but the Super Bowl halftime show caused quite a stir.

With that in mind, Gazette Sports assembled a crack team to discuss the issue. Attendees were roundtable first-timers Campus Life editor Kelly Marcella and Deputy editor Paolo Zinatelli, as well as all the Sports editors, Opinions editor Mark Polishuk and writer Chris Clarke.

Dave: What do you all think about this year’s Super Bowl halftime?
Mark: It sucked.
Kelly: I don’t like seeing gratuitous female breasts.
Dave: What about man-breasts?
Ian: Worst... halftime... ever.
Paolo: Uh, yeah. I haven’t seen many, but that was pretty bad.
Mark: It generally seems that the only truly bad halftime shows are the ones produced by MTV. That one three years ago, when Aerosmith whored themselves out with N’Sync and Britney Spears — Steven Tyler may as well have whipped out his dick and pissed on a stack of his old albums.
Paolo: (laughs).
Mark: It’s because CBS and MTV is owned by the Viet Cong.
Dave: Charlie himself?
Mark: Not the Viet Cong — Viacom!
Kelly: Ironically, a guy named Charlie does own Viacom. Oh, I jest.
Dave: I liked it more when it was just one top-notch star.
Ian: I didn’t like Sting and No Doubt, but Shania’s hot.
Alison: And she’s a really great Canadian singer. Mark: Whatever.
Dave: Wasn’t she half-Native?
Alison: She’s from Timmins.
Dave: Who’s to say there are no Natives from Timmins?
Chris: She’s not half Ojibwe, but her step-father is.
Alison: So, she’s quarter-native.
Chris: Uh, no, there’s no blood relation.
Alison: Oh. I’m having a bad week.
(Mark saunters back from the washroom... is it just us or is he always in there? We know what you’re doing Mark!)
Mark: I was in A&E!
Ian: So, halftime shows, eh?
Dave: I think there should be more feats of strength, like when Dino Bravo did push-ups with Earthquake on his back.
Mark: Ah, Dino Bravo. He wore the fleur-de-lis on his tights. Now he’s dead.
Paolo: Because of the fleur-de-lis?
Dave: Anyways... I think the whole Janet Jackson thing was blown out of proportion.
Alison: Yeah, it’s become bigger news than the game itself.
Mark: See, Michael Jackson has ruined Janet Jackson for me, mostly because of his quest to look exactly like her.
Ian: She’s a Jackson. It’s gross, and she’s kinda old. Like Madonna-old.
Mark: I thought it was funny that the rest of halftime was so bad that none of the people I was watching with were even paying attention to see her breast.
Dave: Kid Rock was OK.
Mark: What about Puff Daddy?
Ian: Actually, it’s P. Diddy.
Kelly: Why does he keep changing his name? Pick a name and stick with it!
Dave: I thought it would have been cooler if he came out in an SUV and fired a cap gun out the side. CBS could have blamed his driver.
Kelly: Maybe they should get talented people, like bands.
Mark: Like U2. They almost had a perfect performance, if not for the American flag in Bono’s jacket.
Dave: Or the two symbolic towers falling.
Kelly: Bono brings credibility. Puff Daddy only brings guns.
Ian: And hate! (thumbs up).

 

 

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