February 6, 2004  
Volume 97, Issue 71  

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Outside the Western Gates

By Chris Clarke
Gazette Staff

Gazette File Photo
“IN THE END, IT WAS ACE VENTURA THAT SOURED ME ON A FRONT OFFICE JOB.” Dan Marino walks away from a job he held for three weeks. Frankly, we think that will outlast most of your jobs after graduation.

Below are the highlights and lowlights from the world of sports this past week:

The Super Bowl took place in Houston this past Sunday. Aside from the halftime show, the game was top-notch with an impressive offensive display put on by both teams. New England came out on top 32-29, and Tom Brady was named Super Bowl MVP. It’s only a matter of time before single women across America will have the chance to “Win A Date with America’s Prettiest Patriot.”

The 2004 NBA All-Star starters were announced this week. Yao Ming beat out Shaquille O’Neal for the starting spot at centre for the Western Conference for the second consecutive season, and Vince Carter led all voting for a record-breaking fourth consecutive season. Six first-time All-Stars (including Canada’s own Jamaal Magloire) were selected as reserves and six non-American players will be representing various countries from around the world. Fans could probably care less about all this, considering the NBA All-Star Game is a second-rate schmooze-fest filled with celebrities and halftime shows. Vince Carter will officially not participate in the Slam Dunk Contest and Jason Richardson is sure to defend his title.

Ivan ‘Pudge’ Rodriguez signed with the Detroit Tigers this week. The former member of the World Champion Florida Marlins inked a four-year, US$40 million deal with the worst team in baseball Monday. Pudge was also in talks with the Chicago Cubs and Baltimore Orioles, but in the end he chose to follow the Motown money to Detroit. In all likelihood, Rodriguez’s addition won’t move the Tigers from worst to first and they’ll continue to look back with fondness on the days of “Big Daddy” Cecil Fielder.

The NHL All-Star Game is being played this weekend in St. Paul, Minnesota. Hockey enthusiasts will be happy to hear that Mark Messier will be playing in his 15th All-Star game, while passive alcoholics across the country will be left wondering what to do while getting drunk on a Saturday night without the Leafs-Canucks game.

Bobby Knight dodged yet another bullet in his colourful career, as Texas Tech University chancellor David Smith chose not to fire him after the two engaged in a verbal argument on Monday after a legion of Knights’ supporters came to his defense. Initially, Knight was told to take five days off, or not come in on Monday (woo-hoo, four-day weekend) but backed off after he threw a chair across Smith’s office and put him in one of his patented choke holds.

Dan Marino inexplicably resigned from his figurehead position head of football operations for the Miami Dolphins on Tuesday. The former star quarterback had only been on the job three weeks when he decided that being head of football operations for the Miami Dolphins was not in the best interest of either the Miami Dolphins or his family. Ouch. I guess now they can find someone who would be less of a figurehead than he was.



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