February 12, 2004  
Volume 97, Issue 74  

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Free Wullie!

Old Cloutie has a devilish proposition for Wullie MacCrimmon: if Wullie can best him in a game of curling, he’ll ensure the outcome of The MacDonald Briar Finals is in the bag. There’s a catch however — if Wullie loses, he forfeits his mortal soul and joins Cloutie in the deep, fiery pits of hell, spending the rest of eternity serving as the new Third on the Devil’s curling team.

The Corporation is psychotic

When controversial left-wing documentary maker Michael Moore won the Academy Award for his film Bowling for Columbine last year, he achieved several feats. Unfortunately, one of those achievements was that every documentary feature with the slightest inkling of a leftist mentality would be compared to Moore’s film.


This Kid kinda sucks

If you want to watch a quality kids movie that makes you wish you were back in Grade 3, go rent Home Alone, because all Catch That Kid has on Kevin are high-tech gadgets and go-carts.

Paris, Vanilla Ice and Scrabble


This week’s column is being written on a five-minute delay, so anything too controversial will be censored.




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