February 12, 2004  
Volume 97, Issue 74  

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CAMPUS LIFE

Super sweet & tasty love treats

Valentine’s Day provides another opportunity for companies to profit from holidays — and it appeals to nearly everyone. Lovebirds have the chance to show their affection through sweet treats, while angry singles may turn to chocolate and candy to pull through this painful day. Whatever the case may be, A&E Editors Megan, Brian and Lori risked their lithe figures to sample every sweet taste that this holiday has to offer.

Hershey Marshmallow Heart
31g of chocolate
covered marshmallow
Brian carefully opens the first package...
Lori: Eww, it’s broken!
Brian: It’s cracked — it’s a broken heart.
Megan: At least it’s shaped like a heart, unlike those marshmallow Santas that look like poo.
Brian: It’s sticky, but sweet. I like the marshmallow more; it’s fluffier.
Megan: The chocolate is a little bitter. It’s like ultra-dark chocolate.
Lori: The marshmallow is really smooth, but the chocolate gets stuck in your teeth.

Hershey Cherry Cream Heart
36g of a cherry creme centre covered in rich chocolate
Brian: Oh, it’s thinner. (begins to carefully cut the heart)
Megan: It looks like it’s jizzing
Brian: It smells like real cherry.
Megan: (nods in agreement) I kind of like it — the sweetness of the cherry offsets the bitterness of the chocolate. It tastes like the maraschino chocolate cherries, but without the grossness.
Lori: Yeah, this has a smoother texture. It’s definitely better than the plain heart, but I’m still not really a fan.

Hershey Strawberry
Marshmallow Heart
31g of chocolate covered marshmallow heart with an artificially flavoured centre
Brian: Ew, it looks like a turd.
Megan: I like it better than the marshmallow, but not as much as the cherry.
Brian: I agree.
Lori: I don’t like this. I feel like I’m getting a headache from it. It tastes more like medicine
Brian: Strawberry medicine? It tastes kind of yogurty.
Megan: YES! Yes it DOES!

Hershey Kisses
44g of milk chocolate
Megan: (reads the package) In this tiny little bag there are 239 calories — that’s sick.
Lori: This chocolate doesn’t do anything for me.
Brian: It tastes different than the marshmallow chocolate.
Megan: That’s because this is milk chocolate and the other chocolate is cheap.

Hershey Hugs
43g of mini Hershey Kisses hugged by white chocolate
Megan: This chocolate tastes better by default because it has a prettier design.
Brian: I like the stripes. I would wear a shirt like this.
Lori: I like the union of white and milk chocolate. Hugs are way better than kisses, at least where Hershey is concerned.
Brian: They should make dark ones with a white swirl, instead of just the white chocolate with the dark swirl. Like, why do they have one but not the other?

McCormick’s Cinnamon Hearts
50g of spicy hearts
Megan: Cinnamon hearts... boring.
Brian: (dripping with sarcasm) I wonder what these are going to taste like?
Brian: I like the spicyness more than sweetness.
Megan: Good quote!
Brian: (blushes) Thanks. But I wish they were softer; I don’t like hard things in my mouth.
Lori: I like them hard... the cinnamon hearts.

Swizzel’s Love Hearts
32g of love candy
Megan: These taste like poison. They get better, but they still taste like poison at first.
Brian: Are these vitamins?
Megan: They could be; they taste like it.
Brian: I like these.
Brian hands Lori a heart that reads “I love you”
Megan: These are nasty.
Lori: They are way too sour.
Brian tries to pick up Editor-in-Chief Emmett Macfarlane with a heart that reads, “Hi Baby.” It doesn’t work.
Brian: (feeling dejected) I don’t like these anymore.

A Couple of Squares
Gingerbread Cookie
(one X-shaped, one O-shaped)
Brian: The frosting is kind of foul.
Lori: I like them. It’s a nice, quality cookie.
Megan: There is no difference between the pink and white.
Brian: I like them.
Megan: I think this is my favourite.
Lori: Yeah, it’s a nice change from the chocolate. The design is quite lovely too. I like how it’s tied up with a pretty white ribbon.
Megan: Points for the design.

 

 

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