The more you pay, the better
By David Lee
Believe it or not, but you’re probably already a john.
Or a jane.
Impossible, you say? Not so. Because really, is it possible
to have sex without somehow paying for it?
The obvious answer seems to be “yes” — very
few men or women actually pay cash for sex. Those exceedingly
few individuals who creep through the red light district in
their Grand Marquis are only the most obvious customers of
the flesh. In a way everyone who has had sex has paid for it
in some way or another, though they don’t necessarily
all subject themselves to sting operations to do so.
You’re probably thinking that you’ve never paid
for sex. Think about it for a while, however, and you’ll
realize you in fact have. You’ve probably paid for the
dinner of a significant other, given a “thoughtful” gift
or bought your way out of trouble with flowers or tickets to
a sporting event. In these cases, you’re not simply forking
over cash for sex as a normally-construed john would.
But what happens when the currency isn’t cash, but gifts
or services that have been purchased with cash?
It seems that the answer then, is a most resounding “no” — you
can’t escape paying for sex.
If you open yourself to this line of thinking, it’s
clear that nearly everything you purchase for a significant
other is tantamount to paying for sex. Obligatory gift occasions
such as birthdays or anniversaries also become “relationship
service charges”, requiring you to pay certain fees (gifts)
to avoid having your service (sex) cut off.
That situation itself begs a secondary question: what should
the price scale be for various sexual relations? It seems the
simplest answer is that while the scale varies from person
to person, it nevertheless remains a sliding one. For starters,
it would stand to reason that the better looking a person is,
the higher the low-end price. While a kiss may only cost you
dinner at a nice restaurant, heavy petting above the waist
will require that you go out to the theatre afterwards.
For university students, one of the most blatant instances
of this phenomenon occurs at the local watering hole. Paying
for someone else’s drinks usually increases your chances
for sex — at least that’s the rationale for all
of the drooling masses who hope to hook up on any given night
Though many will tell you that “it’s the thought
that counts,” the reality is that sweet thoughts will
net you little more than a kiss on the cheek. However, if you
spend the big bucks, prepare to reap the biggest reward.