February 13, 2004  
Volume 97, Issue 75  

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NEWS

Western students reveal dirty deeds in detail

As per usual,The Gazette loves to talk about sex. And most of all, we love that you love to read about sex. With that said, after hours of intense tabulations, we have compiled the tell-all list about the sex lives of Western students.

1. Sex
Male 62.07%
Female 37.90%
Other 00.03%

2. Age
Male Female
19-20 23% 27%
21-22 35% 63%
23-24 29% 10%
25+ 13% 0%

3. Sexual Orientation
14.28% of respondants were homosexual males
0% of respondants were homosexual females
47.79% of respondants were heterosexual males
31.08% of respondants were heterosexual females
0% of respondants were bisexual males
3.41% of respondants were bisexual females
3.44% of respondants were undecided about their sexuality

4. At what age did you first have sex?
Male Female
under 13 5% 0%
13 - 17 41% 45%
18 - 20 64% 54%
21+ 0% 1%

5. How many partners have you had so far?
Male Female
1 5% 0%
2-5 53% 64%
6-10 17% 9%
11-15 10% 27%
16+ 15% 0%

6. How many one night stands have you had?
Male Female
0 23% 0%
1 17% 54%
2-5 35% 27%
6-10 14% 9%
10+ 11% 10%

7. What public places have you done the dirty deed?
Westminster Residence laundry room, parks, recording studio, front lawn, Natural Science, golf course, Saugeen piano room, car, random fields, beaches, balconies, Gazette office, UCC, washroom stalls, parking lots, pools, gym, open air horse stable...

8. Have you fantasized about someone else while you were having sex?
Male Female
Yes 47% 45%
No 53% 55%

9. Have you ever caught someone having sex?
Male Female
Yes 64% 72%
No 36% 28%
Been caught by someone?
Male Female
Yes 35% 54%
No 65% 46%

10. Have you ever paid for sex?
Male Female
Yes 11% 9%
No 89% 91%

11. Have you ever had sex with a prof or a TA?
Male Female
Yes 17% 9%
No 83% 91%

12. Have you ever sustained injuries from sexual activities?
Male Female
Yes 82% 81%
No 18% 19%
Injuries listed include scratches, bruises, rugburn, bite marks, anal tears and bleeding, respiratory problems, muscle pulls, cuts, strained ribs, bloody lips and ‘bit heads’, ‘burnt junk’...
Have you even caused injury to someone else during sex?
Male Female
Yes 35% 45%
No 65% 55%
Injuries listed include bruising, inability to walk, scratches, and the slamming of a head into a headboard...

13. What is the highest number of people you have had sex with at the same time?
Male Female
1 64% 72%
2-3 11% 18%
4-5 17% 0%
5+ 8% 0%

14. What’s the weirdest thing someone has ever asked you to do during sex?
Is that gerbil for you or me?, fist me, put your finger in my bum, can you do gymnastic moves/sommersaults, choke me, stop, stop eating chicken wings, are you interested in water sports?, can you put your legs together, can you put on your work uniform....

15. What is your biggest turn on?
Males — Long hair, aggressiveness, screaming, nice underwear, piercings, ponytails, T & A...
Females — Confidence, muscle, body hair, ass, willingness to experiment, foreplay, great cologne...
What is your biggest turn off?
Males — Bad smells, skinny girls, bitchiness, acting like a corpse, talking, girls who shake, lack of grooming, bad breath, bad kisser...
Females — Lack of hair grooming, small penises, bad smells, laziness, smokers, dependence, genital piercings, farting/burping during sex...

16. What is your favourite type of sex?
Male Female
Oral 11% 36%
Anal 23% 9%
Straight forward 52% 36%
Break up 14% 5%
Pity 0% 14%
Other listed include orgies, angry sex, random sex, rough sex, violent thrusting, dirty sex...

17. Have you ever role played during sex?
Male Female
Yes 41% 27%
No 59% 73%
Roles listed include horse trainer, student/teacher, nurse, coach/athlete, cop, construction worker, GI Joes, Little Red Riding Hood, Marge/Homer...

18. Which of the following sex accessories do you own?
Male Female
Handcuffs 29% 36%
Dildo 17% 9%
Vibrator 5% 45%
Chains and whip 5% 9%
Electric toothbrush 2% 18%
Other accesories listed include school girl outfits, KY jelly, feathers, slings, butt plugs, a Miss Santa costume....

19. Do you normally wear socks during sex?
Male Female
Yes 17% 27%
No 83% 73%

20. Have you ever yelled something out during sex and regretted it?
Male Female
Yes 47% 45%
No 53% 55%
Regretful screams of passion include what already!?, I love you, you’re lucky I keep you around, the wrong name, get out, catch that baseball girl, can you balance on one foot?, I love how loose you are...

21. How often do you enjoy porn
(in all it’s forms)?
Male Female
Never 0% 27%
1-3 times/month 35% 36%
1-3 times/week 35% 18%
1-3 times/day 23% 5%
1-3 times/day + 7% 14%

22. What’s the best “taste” you’ve ever had?
Male Female
Sugary 23% 27%
Salty 0% 9%
Fishy 0% 0%
Tangy 54% 35%
Other tastes listed include honey and almonds, alcohol, urine, chocolate sauce, whipped cream, jello pudding pop, so fresh and so clean...

23. What’s your favourite post-sex activity?
Male Female
Cuddle 29% 23%
More sex 58% 36%
Sleep 7% 27%
Smoke/drink 2% 14%
Leave 4% 0%
Other post-sex activities listed include jerking off, shaving your head, smoking weed...

24. What’s the most shocking thing that’s happened to you while having sex?
Farting, guy talking to his penis, female ejaculation, broke bed, got a job interview, small talk, found out partner was virgin, getting electrocuted...

 

 

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