Casual guys and gals
By Lorraine Forster
Question: To have casual sex or not to have casual sex?
That is the question for women anyways, as most men seem perfectly
comfortable with the idea. We all know that women are sexual
beings, but why is it that when it comes to the thought of
jumping into bed with a “random” for one crazy
night in the sack, we don’t always saddle up? No pun
If there are so many heterosexual men having casual sex, then
there must be an equal amount of heterosexual women doing the
same right? Casual sex, a.k.a. the one night stand, is sex
without being in an emotionally committed relationship; however,
for women this is usually a challenge to pull off.
For most women, the result of a casual night is usually a
lot of psychological over-analyzing. In the words of Carrie
Bradshaw from Sex and the City, the next morning a girl is
usually left asking “does he like me, will he call again
and the classic ‘where is this all going?’”
So why is it that as women we fight a psychological battle
with ourselves over whether or not to have casual sex, while
most men don’t give it a second thought? Well, first
of all, women run the risk of getting pregnant, whereas men
have been encouraged to “spread their seed.”
According to evolutionary sociobiological perspectives, a
man who mates occasionally is not as likely to produce offspring
as a man who mates often, therefore frequent mating to pass
on their DNA is encouraged. Women, on the other hand were encouraged
to nurture their offspring.
Secondly, it is thought that men hormonally possess a stronger
drive for sex. Testosterone, the male sexual hormone, is known
for activating sexual behaviour. Since women have about one-tenth
the level of testosterone in their blood as men do, it follows
that men would have a larger desire to seek out sex.
Thirdly, we just want to be loved. Canadian studies have shown
that 77 per cent of male adolescents, compared with 51 per
cent of female adolescents, approve of having sex with someone
you like, but don’t love. Similarly, when asked the reason
for having sex with someone, 52 per cent of females and 27
per cent of males said it was because they loved their partner.
Ultimately, in the eyes of a woman, a secure loving relationship
wins over the casual, one night tryst with a stranger. This
is not to say that women can’t enjoy the odd roll in
the hay — no strings attached — but when it comes
to casual sex, women haven’t missed the boat, we’re
just riding a different one.
Understanding Human Sexuality: Second Canadian Edition