Roundtable: a look at
sex and sports
WE’RE GOING STREAKING THROUGH THE QUAD! This Homecoming
halftime guest takes the advice of Frank the Tank quite literally.
Whether or not the streaker made it to the gymnasium — or
KFC — may never be known.
Sports and sex appeal are often associated in
our collective consciousness; some might even say the two are inseparable.
With that in mind, we thought we’d have a roundtable about
the entire issue for our Valentine’s Day issue.
Attendees included Sports Editors Ian Denomme, Dave Lee and Alison
Stolz as well as News Editor Dan Perry and Opinions Editor Mark
MARK: Haven’t we already talked about this with the hot
male and female roundtables?
DAVE: That’s why this will be more about how sports sells
ALISON: You mean how sex appeal sells sports. Look at cheerleaders
at football games — guys don’t watch the halftime show
MARK: Especially when there’s naked boobs flyin’ about.
DAN: College games have cheerleaders. NFL has “leer-leaders.” (groan)
DAVE: I remember a few years ago when this woman from the American
beach volleyball team got implants. She took a lot of flak because
she was seen as playing into the sport’s “T&A” image.
Appropriately enough, her name was Holly McPeak.
IAN: Yeah, there was also Jamie Salé posing in FHM and I
think an Australian women’s soccer team made a nude calendar.
Plus, Manon Rheaume and Katarina Witt both posed for Playboy, I
MARK: Now keep in mind that these are all women as well. There’s
not nearly the same for men in sport. A guy will watch Anna Kournikova
just to gawk at her. I don’t think a lot of women watch baseball
just to see A-Rod.
DAN: Or Derek Jeter.
MARK: I refuse to give credit to Derek Jeter as anything more than
scum. Goddamn Yankee pretty-boy punk-ass bitch.
ALISON: Women subject themselves to this. It doesn’t make
sense when they’re trying to fight women having to use their
bodies in order to capture an audience.
DAVE: So why are women’s sports promoted this way?
IAN: Because they want to put people in the seats.
DAN: One of the top brass at FIFA got in a lot of shit recently
because he said women should wear shorter shorts and tighter shirts.
ALISON: How come guys don’t wear skimpier shirts and tighter
shorts? We like watching bums too, as long as they’re cute.
DAVE: But why can’t women’s sports be seen as exciting
MARK: I think that men almost have an inbred idea that women’s
sports are inferior and they’re not going to watch unless
there’s some sex appeal.
IAN: Like the Lingerie Bowl.
MARK: That was a god awful idea. The most offensive part of that
wasn’t the lingerie, but the fact they put Lawrence Taylor
in charge of a team. I wouldn’t trust L.T. to mow my grass
without trying to sniff some for himself.
DAN: Polishuk, you don’t sniff grass.
MARK: Err, smoke it.
IAN: Remember when L.T. fought Bam Bam Bigelow at Wrestlemania
MARK: Yep. And make sure you put that as roman numerals, since
wrestling is classy.
DAVE: But the WWF hasn’t been the best role model for women
in sports entertainment.
IAN: I disagree. Hulk Hogan was always telling kids to take their
vitamins and say their prayers.
DAN: The vitamins are mind control, though.
MARK: Or testicle-shrinking steroids.
DAVE: How did we go off the rails?
MARK: It’s probably the Hulk Hogan mind control. Whatcha
gonna do when mind control runs wild on you?