February 17, 2004  
Volume 97, Issue 76  

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Is sampling beer like sampling girls?

By Marshall Bellamy
Gazette Staff

Gazette file photo
WHY DO YOU LOOK SO BEMUSED, TEITUR? Maybe it’s because your name is Teitur... how intriguing.

Although guys get the reputation of just looking for some poontang, they also have the strange habit of going head over heels into committed relationships.

Strangely, this crazed point in our lives between the teenage years and adulthood is not unlike those bars with sample trays of 10 or 12 small glasses of beer.

Many guys attempt to sample every brand of beer on the whole tray, not unlike the way many — throughout their time at university — test drive the many women (or men, whatever your preference may be) who grace our fine and well-endowed campus.

Every tray of sample beer gives the drinker an opportunity to try out anything they desire — sound familiar? The options are about as endless as what you have laid out before you — on the tray of beer that is. There’s cheap beer, warm stout, strong beer, pale ale, blond mead, foreign beer, low-fat lager, ice-cold beer, high-end cervezas, homemade brew, fatty beer and the list goes on.

This habit of sampling everything you have also tends to be the most popular, or at least the most stereotypical, method of sampling the finer things in life; many feel these sort of men can never commit themselves to one brand of beer.

This isn’t to say all men sample women as actively as they sample beer trays. In fact, many sample only one or two brands of beer before they make the ultimate commitment to order a pint they have fallen in love with before the rest of the sampler tray is finished.

For many beer drinkers who can never decide on which brand of beer is best consumed the act of choosing one beer and sticking with it is a scary thought. Consider the number of times you wake up hungover, cursing everyone from Richard Nixon to the drinking gods, and even that intoxicating nectar you thought was sweet the night before. And in the end, you still stand by that same beer the next messy binge.

Many beer dabblers are horrified by the fact that when a man loves a beer, and sticks with it, he is willing to overlook every beer around; he’s not willing to experiment because he just wants to taste his one true brewy love every chance he gets. The result is that he may not realize he is missing out on the tastiness only a new beer can provide.

Either way, if you like to sample beer in small or large amounts, different brands or you’re just loyal to one beer brand, then drink up — because last call always comes sooner than you think.



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