ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
Is sampling beer like sampling girls?
By Marshall Bellamy
Gazette file photo
DO YOU LOOK SO BEMUSED, TEITUR? Maybe it’s because your name
is Teitur... how intriguing.
Although guys get the reputation of just looking for some poontang, they also
have the strange habit of going head over heels into committed relationships.
Strangely, this crazed point in our lives between the teenage years and adulthood
is not unlike those bars with sample trays of 10 or 12 small glasses of beer.
Many guys attempt to sample every brand of beer on the whole tray, not unlike
the way many — throughout their time at university — test drive
the many women (or men, whatever your preference may be) who grace our fine
and well-endowed campus.
Every tray of sample beer gives the drinker an opportunity to try out anything
they desire — sound familiar? The options are about as endless as what
you have laid out before you — on the tray of beer that is. There’s
cheap beer, warm stout, strong beer, pale ale, blond mead, foreign beer, low-fat
lager, ice-cold beer, high-end cervezas, homemade brew, fatty beer and the
list goes on.
This habit of sampling everything you have also tends to be the most popular,
or at least the most stereotypical, method of sampling the finer things in
life; many feel these sort of men can never commit themselves to one brand
This isn’t to say all men sample women as actively as they sample beer
trays. In fact, many sample only one or two brands of beer before they make
the ultimate commitment to order a pint they have fallen in love with before
the rest of the sampler tray is finished.
For many beer drinkers who can never decide on which brand of beer is best
consumed the act of choosing one beer and sticking with it is a scary thought.
Consider the number of times you wake up hungover, cursing everyone from Richard
Nixon to the drinking gods, and even that intoxicating nectar you thought was
sweet the night before. And in the end, you still stand by that same beer the
next messy binge.
Many beer dabblers are horrified by the fact that when a man loves a beer,
and sticks with it, he is willing to overlook every beer around; he’s
not willing to experiment because he just wants to taste his one true brewy
love every chance he gets. The result is that he may not realize he is missing
out on the tastiness only a new beer can provide.
Either way, if you like to sample beer in small or large amounts, different
brands or you’re just loyal to one beer brand, then drink up — because
last call always comes sooner than you think.