January 14, 2004  
Volume 97, Issue 57  

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You Got Served Soundtrack
Appropriately titled, this soundtrack will leave you feeling like you got served… a heaping helping of horse shit, that is. Proving wishes do come true, B2K broke up last week, which hopefully means this CD marks the end of the band’s recording career. I’ve got my fingers crossed for a fast fade into obscurity.

Nas and Ill Will Records present The Bravehearts

Nas and his protégés The Bravehearts don’t break any new ground on this record: 14 tracks of bitches, blunts, bling and plenty of threats. Before they slit your throat, shoot your eye and dump you off a bridge, explore the group’s softer side on “Sensations,” a hilariously upbeat and graphic ode to oral sex.

—Arthur Thuot

The Beautiful Letdown

So who are these Switchfoot guys, anyway? Are they the latest in a line of insincere Christian rockers? ARE they even Christian? When it comes down to it, who could care enough to find out? The debut album from Switchfoot is too banal to warrant much contemplation. Singing to the monotonous tune of soft-pop-rock that’s more akin to adult contemporary shlock than alternative rock, vocalist Jon Foreman moans about what a loser he is. Over and over and over. He was meant to live for so much more (“Meant to Live”). Life is not what he thought it was (“Twenty-Four”). Yesterday is a promise that he’s broken (“This is Your Life”). By the end of the disc you’ll just want to scream “I GET IT!! You’re a self-righteous, self-pitying malcontent who never lived up to the potential mommy said you had! ENOUGH ALREADY!!”

The first single (“Meant to Live”) is, as one might expect, the highlight of the disc, with the band grasping onto a memorable hook sure to propel them to the heights of short-lived MTV fame. The rest of the album is less than memorable, though, with one schmaltzy, easily-digestible nugget following another. Cringe-worthy lyrics like “Gone, my high school dreams are gone, my childhood sweets are gone/Life is a day that doesn’t last for long.” (“Gone”) makes you wish that Foreman hadn’t lived long enough for him to create this record.

—Megan O’Toole



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