Frosty’s appeal loses lustre
London in the running for World Juniors 2006. Though the initial
decision to bid for the games was debated by bureaucrats, London
may win a chance to host the prestigious hockey tournament
in late 2005 and early 2006. The games would bring added revenue
to the downtown core, and for you pickpockets out there, lots
of ample targets. Ah, street crime...
United Way. London’s United Way campaign enjoyed great
success at Western in 2003, raising over $325,000. The large
sum was due in part to a “turn students upside-down and
shake for change” initiative, modelled loosely after
President Paul Davenport’s usual treatment of Western
The snow penis. The construction of a snow penis is an annual
occurrence at Western. This year was no different, and the
vaunted penis was joined by an all-new snow vagina (or as many
call it, the “snussy”). An attempt to consummate
the two ended badly, as one student was trapped beneath the
structure’s left testicle. It gives a whole new meaning
to the term snowball.
The “Bobbiting” of the snow penis. Anger arose
over the lack of proper ’70s-style voluminous pubic coiffure
surrounding the snow penis. As a result of the pube-fuelled
animosity, the pseudo tribute to the CN Tower was taken down.
Somewhere, a eunuch engineer wept.
Post-holiday entertainment letdown. Since movie studios and
video game developers publish their best stuff right before
Kwanza, it leaves January bereft of solid entertainment options,
leaving impoverished students with little to do but play the
Copy Centre relocation. Intelligent placement of necessary
facilities has hit an all-time low at Western. Spurred by threats
from the Crips, the Blood-backed Copy Centre was forced to
leave the Social Science Centre and return to its west-side
turf at Saugeen.
The weather. Those damn Russians are at it again, toiling
away at perfecting their weather machine after stealing research
from Globex Corporation. Damn you Hank Scorpio! On a serious
note, does anyone remember The Avengers?
York Federation of Students fiasco. This is just sad, plain
and simple. The coup and counter-coup are reminiscent of vintage
Cold War films. Only much more pathetic.