January 21, 2004  
Volume 97, Issue 61  

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Celebrity Dartboard
Stick it on a wall, aim and throw!

One of the few Canadian celebrities that Americans actually know is the repugnant French Canadian Céline Dion.

Looking like an aging drag queen (that recently took a weed whacker to her hair to look like the epitome of Michael Jackson’s fantasies), Dion now performs a certainly hideous show in Las Vegas, which she no doubt charges hundreds of dollars too much to the morons who watch the show.

A pre-eminent diva — i.e. a stuck up bitch who thinks the world revolves around her — Dion is married to a weird fogey who has managed her career since she was 14 or something (i.e. a pedophile).

To top it off, if you’ve ever seen her interviewed, you would know this half-witted, imbecilic tumbleweed of a “chanteuse” is a Canadian embarrassment, deserving of this week’s spot on the Celebrity Dartboard.



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