and bad drivers
By Marshall Bellamy
Each New Year’s ushers in a rash of resolutions, but
while most pledge to lose weight or stop drinking Drain-O,
London’s diabolical and smarmy criminal community has
made a resolution to continue their lawless hooliganism.
One lone male armed with a shotgun robbed the Beer Store at
414 Wharncliffe Rd. on Dec. 30, another Beer Store along Wellington
St. on Jan. 3 and moved on to the Kentucky Fried Chicken at
850 Wellington St. robbing that establishment as well, said
Const. Paul Martin of the London Police Department.
The beer and chicken robber was found not long after knocking
over the KFC, maniacally giggling until he realized he had
stole light beer and forgot to ask for hot sauce and the bag
of two-bite brownies with his Mega Deal Meal.
According to Martin, the LPD ran a Festive RIDE program from
Nov. 27 to Jan. 3 and were stopping vehicles on 15 dates between
that time. A grand total of 8,361 vehicles were stopped and
222 tests were conducted, resulting in seven people being charged,
proving there are still drunken idiots on the road.
Last year 7,973 vehicles were stopped, 162 tests were conducted
and five people were charged, Martin explained.
Martin pointed out that the LPD will be conducting a “back-to-school
blitz” which will concentrate on all schools in the area,
including Western. The blitz is expected to stop speeders,
reckless drivers and dune buggy racers with Tourettes, prompting
everyone to question if it is right to eliminate that lovely
foul-mouthed motor sport.