ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
Stick it on a wall, aim and throw!
Hey Joan: “What are you weeaaaarrring?” For your
sake, it’d better be body armour.
The reasons to put darts in your clay face — finally bringing your Batman
namesake villain to life — are many. Here’s to hoping Christian
Bale makes short work of your ass.
Unfortunately, just your career died. Lately, you’ve... hosted the part
of the Oscars nobody watches — great job [insert 1991-style “not” here].
The only redeeming quality you have, Joan, is longevity; you’ve been
there forever. But when your talk show was deepsixed, you should’ve taken
You’ve had more facelifts than the Sphinx, and frankly, it’d be
more fun to hang out with a cat-pharaoh’s likeness in the desert: at
least the statue doesn’t talk.