March 10, 2004  
Volume 97, Issue 83  

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Future plans involve Neil Young?

What is wong with you?
Brian Wong

A&E Editor

It’s March. Not only is a new season ready to spring up, but so is that one question every student on the cusp of graduating gets asked: “What are you going to do?”

Yet unlike the upcoming change of season, this question does not make me think of the innocence of fresh tulip blossoms, the sweet chirping of eager robins or inhaling the invigorating misty air after a delicate shower. Instead, I can sense the sweet smell of no success, while having to wake up to that annoying chirping every morning so I can head off to a job at Best Buy, and those poor tulips — forced to bloom every year — who probably have questions of their own: “What the hell? It’s spring again? Just goddamn leave me alone!”

As April nears, I am being bombarded with, “What are you going to do?” more and more, and after every passing day, it seems as if interest turns to interrogation.


Um, I don’t know! I have problems deciding what I’m going to eat TONIGHT, let alone what I’m going to do after I contend with all the tests and final assignments in the next few weeks. But I do know it’s better to plan ahead so I don’t find myself in May with nothing to do, depressed that I’m not doing anything, with said depression causing me to not want to do anything but stay indoors for an indefinite period — an indefinite period because I’ve been indoors so long I don’t know what season it is anymore.

Maybe I should stop jumping to the worst scenario possible. I actually have thought of one way to deal with the “What are you going to do?” question — it’s called embellishing.

“Oh, I’d LOVE to become a journalist!”

“Oh, I’m planning on going to college to learn practical job skills!”

“Oh, I’m going to pursue a job in the media, information and technoculture field!”

Whereas the “I don’t know” response usually makes your listener feel obliged to interrogate you further (and offer you career path suggestions you don’t care to hear), such enthusiastic, straightforward answers are sure to impress people, even though you may not believe in them yourself.

In the meantime, I have set some worthier future goals. Here’s what I’m going to do:
1) Find a pair of jeans that actually fit. Every pair of jeans I’ve owned have either been too long, too short, too tight, too loose or too ugly. Hey, denim companies, please remind that starving 14-year-old seamstress in China that just because someone is skinny, it doesn’t mean they’re short.
2) Finish a novel. I don’t remember what the last work of fiction I read was. Oh, wait — it was 1984, and I stopped after 50 pages. Orwell, I will come back for you.
3) Find someone to slow-dance with. I haven’t slow-danced with anyone since the high school prom with the shitty food and music. Interested individuals who like slow-dancing and “Harvest Moon,” please send a resumé (and photo) to



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