March 11, 2004  
Volume 97, Issue 84  

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Helpful hints from a cheese fan

Paolo Zinatelli

Deputy Editor

I’ve been on this campus for five years. I spent four of them getting a degree, and another one working in a windowless office on the second floor of the University Community Centre.

Those five years have taught me a few things, and I thought it was time to pass them along. This is a list of things I have learned from my time at Western.

• Medway Hall is perfectly shaped for doing “basement laps.” For the uninitiated, I’ll explain: take two friends, one building shaped like a rectangle with connected hallways in the basement and add one bitching session. Lo and behold, you end up with a basement lap.

• There will ALWAYS be people that don’t know how to ride a bus. The concept of moving to the back to allow more people on will always be foreign to them. There’s no use getting angry about it any more, no matter how much you want to. Instead, I’ve found it’s best to just push them out of the way, give them the stink eye and if they stink eye you back, give ’em the horns.

• The Grad Club has the best barbecue on campus. During the summer months you can enjoy cheap burgers and good fries on the sunny patio behind Middlesex College. And for those non-grad students worried about going there, a word of advice from a former TA: walk in looking like you’re pretentious and busy and you’ll blend right in.

• The windowless behemoth known as the Social Science Centre has some of the best places on campus to study. I would tell you where they are, but I’ve decided to keep this one secret. I might share it with you, but only if you buy me a double chocolate doughnut first.

• Western girls will always follow the latest fashion trend, even if it’s so ugly it makes the baby Jesus cry. It’s just the way the world works.

• The same people that don’t know how to ride the bus are also the same people that don’t know how to walk. Walking is just like driving: you walk on the right and you pass on the left. On that note, I will always consider the people who stop and talk in the middle of the University Dr. Bridge or on the stairs in the UCC to be useless and incompetent for as long as I live.

• And finally, it is possible to eat grilled cheese and fries from The Spoke at least three times a week and still lose weight. I will also say that grilled cheese from The Spoke is the BEST grilled cheese you will ever have. No doubt about it. Done. The end.



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