Helpful hints from a cheese fan
I’ve been on this campus for five years.
I spent four of them getting a degree, and another one working
in a windowless office on the second floor of the University
Those five years have taught me a few things, and I thought
it was time to pass them along. This is a list of things I
have learned from my time at Western.
• Medway Hall is perfectly shaped for doing “basement
laps.” For the uninitiated, I’ll explain: take
two friends, one building shaped like a rectangle with connected
hallways in the basement and add one bitching session. Lo and
behold, you end up with a basement lap.
• There will ALWAYS be people that don’t know how
to ride a bus. The concept of moving to the back to allow more
people on will always be foreign to them. There’s no
use getting angry about it any more, no matter how much you
want to. Instead, I’ve found it’s best to just
push them out of the way, give them the stink eye and if they
stink eye you back, give ’em the horns.
• The Grad Club has the best barbecue on campus. During
the summer months you can enjoy cheap burgers and good fries
on the sunny patio behind Middlesex College. And for those
non-grad students worried about going there, a word of advice
from a former TA: walk in looking like you’re pretentious
and busy and you’ll blend right in.
• The windowless behemoth known as the Social Science
Centre has some of the best places on campus to study. I would
tell you where they are, but I’ve decided to keep this
one secret. I might share it with you, but only if you buy
me a double chocolate doughnut first.
• Western girls will always follow the latest fashion
trend, even if it’s so ugly it makes the baby Jesus cry.
It’s just the way the world works.
• The same people that don’t know how to ride the
bus are also the same people that don’t know how to walk.
Walking is just like driving: you walk on the right and you
pass on the left. On that note, I will always consider the
people who stop and talk in the middle of the University Dr.
Bridge or on the stairs in the UCC to be useless and incompetent
for as long as I live.
• And finally, it is possible to eat grilled cheese and
fries from The Spoke at least three times a week and still
lose weight. I will also say that grilled cheese from The Spoke
is the BEST grilled cheese you will ever have. No doubt about
it. Done. The end.