March 16, 2004  
Volume 97, Issue 86  

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Depp saves Secret Window

Writer Mort Rainey (Depp) sits alone in his car, the windshield wipers furiously clearing violent splashes of hard rain from the window.

Fruit Flute a great way to compensate

Guys, it’s probably occurred to many of you by now that we can’t all have a gigantic penis. This dilemma often leads men to “overcompensate” for their shortcomings. Buying guns and huge cars are two of the more obvious, quick solutions, while other men are led to uncontrollable cursing.

Icewater is on tap

Friday nights at The Spoke just got a bit cooler, courtesy of Icewater.

Banks ain’t no Bond

Yes, I know — unless you have a small sibling, are a Big Brother or Sister, or have a pedophilic grandfather, you probably won’t be heading out to the theatre to see the second Agent Cody Banks movie (creepy student-newspaper movie reviewers in the back row and spinsters exempted).


Salads beat Gob and Sum 41

The Gazette recently had a chat with Darren Dumas (Mista D), the frontman for The Salads. As the highly energized lead singer, Dumas talks about how the fusion of ska, metal, reggae and punk makes The Salads unique. They will be performing for the P.A.C.E. Benefit at The Drink tonight.



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