March 18, 2004  
Volume 97, Issue 88  

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Playing It Straight: It’s not quite The Bachelorette and not quite Average Joe. Playing It Straight, which airs Fridays at 8 p.m., makes things a little more difficult for the single female. She has 14 boys to choose from, but here’s the catch: some of them are homosexual! Will she end up picking a guy who’s really into her or one who would prefer hooking up with her brother? Only time will tell...

Wonderfalls: Fox’s new quirky program began last Friday at 9 p.m. After graduating with a philosophy degree, the main character gets that dream job working at a gift shop in Niagara Falls, Ont. Plastic animals begin speaking to her, she goes to therapy and her sister reveals she’s a lesbian — all in the first episode! This one has “hit” written all over it.

The feud between Hilary Duff and Avril Lavigne: Now that’s a cat fight worth watching! After teen punker Lavigne poked fun at fans who copy her trademark tank-top-with-tie style, tween queen Duff said Lavigne should be more appreciative of her fans. Lavigne responded in Newsweek by calling Duff a “mommy’s girl” and noting, “Who the hell cares what she has to say about my fans?” Meow!


50 Cent being a jackass: Yeah, that one’s quite the shocker, isn’t it? In 50’s recent interview with Playboy, the barely literate rapper offered a few words of wisdom in the form of, “I ain’t into faggots. I don’t like gay people around me because I’m not comfortable with what their thoughts are. I’m not prejudiced, I just don’t go with gay people and kick it.” He further notes that he’d rather hang out with “a straight dude,” but that women who like women are “cool.”

The wild card American Idols: Jon Peter Lewis is cute, and we’re glad he got selected in last week’s wild card episode. But the other three... yikes! Jennifer Hudson is just plain annoying, with her crocodile tears and vile outfits. Leah LaBelle can’t sing and George Huff looks like he’s a 50-year-old pretending to be a teenager (note the vaguely pedophilic undertone). Come on, America — can’t you do better than this?

Forever Eden: OK, so now that the show’s actually started, it seems like it’s going to be a second-rate Paradise Hotel, minus the originality and interesting cast members. It had swanky potential, but it’s proven it belongs in the skank pile.



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