ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
Punching Bullard over & over
By Daniel Noble
Here are 10 punch-lines Mike Bullard won’t be able to use, now that
his show has been cancelled.
#1. I’m a big, fat, stupid idiot.
#2. Hey folks, you know what’s funnier than me? CANCER!
#3. My head is gigantic — all the better for blocking has-been Canadian
#4. No, I don’t know where Sue Johansson’s underwear went.
#5. Ever notice how I blink a lot? That’s how I turn my brain on.
#6. Hey baby, how’d you like to appear on Open Mike? Go ahead and undo
#7. Remember when I lost 30 pounds? I bet you wonder how I did it. Easy, I
shit out my sense of humour.
#8. You can’t fire me, my fans will be outraged. By fans, I mean the
entire cast of Sue Thomas FB-Eye.
#9. No punch-line? No problem! This is when I show them my swollen prostate.
#10. I’ll have plenty of free time while I wait for them to do an E!
True Hollywood Story on the Guy who played Red Green.