March 24, 2004  
Volume 97, Issue 91  

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Punching Bullard over & over

By Daniel Noble
Gazette Staff

Here are 10 punch-lines Mike Bullard won’t be able to use, now that his show has been cancelled.

#1. I’m a big, fat, stupid idiot.

#2. Hey folks, you know what’s funnier than me? CANCER!

#3. My head is gigantic — all the better for blocking has-been Canadian celebrities with.

#4. No, I don’t know where Sue Johansson’s underwear went.
#5. Ever notice how I blink a lot? That’s how I turn my brain on.

#6. Hey baby, how’d you like to appear on Open Mike? Go ahead and undo my fly.

#7. Remember when I lost 30 pounds? I bet you wonder how I did it. Easy, I shit out my sense of humour.

#8. You can’t fire me, my fans will be outraged. By fans, I mean the entire cast of Sue Thomas FB-Eye.

#9. No punch-line? No problem! This is when I show them my swollen prostate.

#10. I’ll have plenty of free time while I wait for them to do an E! True Hollywood Story on the Guy who played Red Green.



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