March 31, 2004  
Volume 97, Issue 95  

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Celebrity Dartboard
Stick it on a wall, aim and throw!

“She never loved me, why can’t anyone?” asks Craig Nicholls, lead singer of The Vines, in “Get Free.” Well Craig, the answer is simple: you suck!

While some people are more entertaining when under the influence of drugs or alcohol, Nicholls has been known to lie, offer incoherent ramblings or just space out during interviews. Rumour has it that he is so spacy because there is always “beautiful music” playing in his head. Well, if that’s the case, why don’t we ever get to hear any of it?

OK, so some of their recorded songs aren’t too shabby, but if you’ve ever experienced The Vines’ live show (poor you) one can see that Nicholls’ need to feed his ego overshadows the need to play music properly, or worse still, sing in key. At least when Britney Spears performs she has the decency to lip-synch to over-produced vocals to save our poor ears; she also doesn’t make such hideous faces.

Nicholls should take his Kurt Cobain wannabe antics to the extreme and just... no, that would only garner more fame for such an undeserving and untalented hack.



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