May 27, 2004  
Volume 98, Issue 02  

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Don Cherry for Prime Minister

Under review
Ian Denomme

Opinions Editor

When Paul Martin finally called an election on Sunday afternoon he did what had been expected for months. The campaigning by each party started long before Sunday as they primed for what could be the closest election in years.

While the Liberal party was able to woo well-known celebrity candidates like Ken Dryden into the political arena, the Conservative Party was unfortunately not as successful, and Canada will be a worse place because of it.

The Conservative Party raised some eyebrows when it tried to lure Don Cherry into politics. Cherry foolishly turned down the offer, failing to realize the potential of what he could have done for this country.

Cherry noted his age as a reason for not wanting to get involved. The 70-year-old felt he would not have enough time to accomplish everything he would want to do.

But imagine what Don Cherry could do for this country as Prime Minister.

He would start by restoring pride in the country. Canadians would become just as patriotic and flag-waving as our friends to the south.

You can say what you want about Americans, but they have pride in their country and Canada needs a little more of that. As well, our police, firefighters and armed forces would finally get the recognition they deserve and our military would finally be improved.

For those of you who might be worried that Cherry would fly off the handle and be uncontrollable, fear not. The House of Commons can be a pretty raucous place to begin with but, and Ron MacLean would be Deputy Prime Minister. MacLean would keep Cherry in line and under control. Also, Cherry would be a on a seven second delay all the time.

Even if he did break free of MacLean at times, at least he wouldn’t do something as bad as, let’s say, stealing an expensive ring and having to quit.

Cherry’s cabinet ministers could include the likes of Bobby Orr, Doug Gilmour and his dog Blue. He would also find positions for any other celebrities from Kingston like The Tragically Hip.

Cherry would also make some serious changes to the country. English-speaking Canadians would no longer have to rely on last names or accents to identify people from Quebec. French people would be easily recognizable by their visors.

If Cherry ran, the choice would be easy. He should reconsider the offer in the future — Canada needs him. If Arnold Schwarzenegger can be governor of “Ka-Lee-Fo-Neeah” then there’s no reason why Grapes can’t be Prime Minister of Canada.



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