Alcohol keeps you warm, drunk

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

A couple cozying up with the drink of their choice

Joyce Wang

BOOZE IS YOUR ONLY CHANCE, BUDDY. Sometimes, winter sucks. Nothing treats your misery like a bottle of hooch.

When Jack Frost finally bites, there’s often a shift in the types of alcohol you want to put into your body; the hierarchy of desirable hooches changes with a dip in the mercury. With this in mind, here are some drinks that go over well in the winter, whether you’re crunching over the frozen tundra or curled up next to a crackling fireplace.

Bailey’s. This rich concoction goes great in a cup of coffee. Even on its own, the creamy warmth is brilliant to imbibe while relaxing in a toasty living room. You’ll score serious brownie points with Grandma if you pour her a nice glass of Bailey’s and cue up some Nat King Cole.

Brandy. If you’re all about the aristocratic image, brandy is for you. You feel like a rich douchebag just holding the glass and, while it will light your internal fire like the most recent Poison album, you can’t help but desire a pricey cigar and an audio tape of Winston Churchill’s Greatest Hits. It’s great to sip by an open fire (but hopefully not on your stove while you’re drunkenly cooking perogies, you crazy bastards).

Whiskey. Admittedly a broad category, whiskey gets two thumbs up for its versatility. Whether it’s a splash of Irish whiskey in a cup of joe, a healthy glug of rye to make friends with your Coke, or a scotch for the crusty 45-year-olds in the audience, whiskey does it all. Be warned: whiskey can strangely affect people’s moods. Many love arguing or throwing a quick fist while under the booze’s influence. Nevertheless, whiskey is just too damn crucial to overlook during winter.

White Russian. Some might scratch their heads over this drink making the list, but it has obvious winter strengths: a) the name conjures up images of a shitfaced dude named Yuri eating reindeer and stitching a Pavel Bure jersey; b) a creamy milk-based drink (the White Russian is made with milk, Kahlua and vodka) is more appealing in the cold than in the sweltering, muggy heat; and c) the drink will get you in the mood to curl up and toss The Big Lebowski in your DVD player.

Beer. For many people, beer is nothing less than an extension of one’s arm " one’s lifeblood, as it were. Although a brewski is somewhat less desirable in the cold weather, it has its moments. For instance, a beer is a perfect refreshment for a hot tub visit. Bonus marks if you can rest the beer in a nearby snowbank while you soak.

Share this article on:

Facebook | DiggDigg |

Copyright © 2008 The Gazette