Jenna Jameson's crotch goes under the knife

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

Jenna Jameson

• Pictures of porn star Jenna Jameson looking more like Skeletor than her usual voluptuous self were recently snapped on the red carpet. Most likely she’s had lots of plastic surgery. As well, rumour are circulating she’s unhappy with a recent vaginoplasty, which isn’t surprising if it was performed by the same surgeon who botched her face. Ms. Jameson should’ve put more thought into the industry’s long-term side-effects before entering the XXX-rated workforce.

• Speaking of plastic surgery, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have reportedly consulted a plastic surgeon about getting matching nose jobs. Clearly, Ashley’s forcing her insecurities on her sister. At least MK kept her coke habit...er...eating disorder to herself.

• Trashy singer Courtney Love was spotted bathing in Hawaii and looking extremely trim. Her weight loss could be the result of surgery or a revisited heroin problem. Unfortunately, all the abuse she’s put her body through has left it aging rather quickly. If she did have surgery, you’d think the doctor would have tightened things up a bit better.

• Speaking of abuse, Bond girl Halle Berry recently admitted she attempted suicide after her first marriage failed. She said she tried gassing herself in her car. Honey, relationships aren’t worth it.

Paris Hilton was recently caught driving with a suspended license. She lost her license in September for impaired driving, but the hotel heiress seems to have forgotten that. Maybe she was too busy trying to impress the prosecutor with her new special push-up bra " it gives her a shelf! For breaking parole, she’s facing a 90-day jail sentence. Yeah. That’ll happen.

Britney Spears and K-Fed finally reached a divorce settlement. After a five-hour meeting, K-Fed is getting $1 million and joint custody of their unfortunate offspring. Despite the pre-nup, Federline’s walking away with much more than he deserves. Although she’s exposed her goodies and had a few breakdowns, Spears has shaped up significantly. After all, she is dropping her waste-case husband.

• Brit’s not the only one looking to shed her lunatic rep: Jennifer Lopez recently decided she’ll no longer go by “J-Lo.” Apparently, she wants to put the dumb name behind her, along with tantrums about spring water and the quality of her sheets. It’s about time, woman!

• It was only a matter of time before someone did the unspeakable. Fishy Toyz has made a Pete Doherty doll. It comes equipped with a guitar, a cigarette, a syringe and, last but certainly not least, a crack pipe which lights up when placed to his lips. Amazing! Unfortunately, people lacking a sense of humour " Just Say No campaigners " feel it glorifies illegal drug use and are suing the company.

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