On Disc: Eye Talk

Album: Sun and Moon

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

Sun and Moon by Eye Talk

Eye Talk
Sun and Moon
Miles High Productions

0.5 stars

Eye Talk, comprised of brothers Alan and Bob Clark, is a strange musical phenomenon. The duo is by no means good, but it isn’t incessantly horrible. Instead, it lingers in the bottom ranks of mediocrity by using extremely basic singing and songwriting.

The Sun and Moon experience begins with the album cover, a perfect example of bad marketing. Half the cover is filled with the Clarks’ heads: one looks like Ben Affleck and the other looks like the villain from Ecks vs. Sever. These pictures fade into a pink and purple background, resulting in a hideous album cover sure to be passed over in Wal-Mart’s discount CD bin.

There’s not much to say about the music itself. From its uber-cheesy lyrics to its forgettable vocals, even the most diligent reviewer couldn’t tell you what the fifth track sounds like.

Unfortunately, the pop-jazz duo isn’t even the good kind of bad. Unlike “musicians” like William Hung or William Shatner, Eye Talk doesn’t have any camp value " it’s just irritatingly inadequate.

One almost feels bad for Eye Talk, who likely has a garage full of cardboard boxes loaded with CDs, waiting, just waiting for that one big order.

The only thing less pleasant than listening to this CD would be seeing the look on the Clark boys’ faces when they discover the album in the back of Mama Clark’s closet, still in its original packaging with a note attached saying “Merry Christmas Mom.”

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