Trash the sexy kitty costume this Halloween

Be a blow-up doll, Britney Spears, or even a sexy gorilla

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

Woman dressed as sexy cats

“Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it,” Lindsay Lohan said in Mean Girls.

Unfortunately for those of you who were planning on being a Playboy bunny again this year, Lohan was way off-base.

There’s nothing lazier than a Halloween costume that takes the same tired ideas (witches, monsters, zombies), raises the hemlines, drops the necklines and calls it “sexy.”

If you’re looking for a Halloween costume that requires a little more creativity than your average “sexy cat,” there are plenty of options available.

• In the last few years, Britney Spears has tumbled from pop princess to walking trainwreck. Celebrate the present and forget the past by dressing up as the Britney of today. An empty bag of Cheetos taped to your butt, bare feet and an ever-present pack of candy cigarettes is all it takes to look like a superstar. A cheap wig would also be a nice touch.

• Go old school and wear a boxy costume. With the help of some cheap paint and a little creativity, take a big empty box and turn yourself into the empire state building, a robot or a gift box. Or make a refrigerator costume and carry around plenty of snacks for your friends with the munchies.

• If friends always tell you that you look like a certain celebrity, why not play up the similarities? If you don’t have the good fortune of being a Cameron Diaz twin, take some creative license. Take your look-alike status and make it current. For example, if you have long brown hair, try painting on huge lips and be Angelina Jolie this year. Tie a few Cabbage Patch kids to your waist to emulate Jolie’s ever-growing brood and you’re bound to raise a few eyebrows.

• Scantily clad girls in bustiers and bras walking downtown during Halloween may offend the 60 year-old lady passing by " why not take that offensiveness to the extreme by dressing up as a blow-up doll? There’s nothing wrong with personifying the ultimate plastic companion for lonely men. Find some neutral-coloured rubber material and cut it to shape your body. Use balloons as boobs, tease your hair and don’t forget the tacky-red lipstick. Men will be all over you.

• Opposites attract " if you really can’t stray away from the “sexy” prefix, tie in the heinous for a more interesting costume. Try being a sexy gorilla by playing up the red-hot corset and bombshell stilettos while donning a gorilla mask. Better yet, if you know a good make-up artist, alter your facial features with putty and eyeshadow for a rotting face.

• Miss your favourite cartoon character as a kid? Now’s your chance to be a cartoon-turned-skank this Halloween " the irony is too good to pass up. Wear different coloured bodysuits with square-shaped aluminum foil on your tummies and be skanky Teletubbies. Try a hot pink baby tee, orange booty shorts and a purple backpack and you’ve got Slutty Dora the Explorer.

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