Shocker: Britney Spears is still a bad mother, driver

A sad week for Kanye; Klum fulfills blonde jokes; Olsen twin gets infected

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

Nicole Richie

THIS CAT WEIGHS MORE THAN I DO. Luckily, Nicole Richie has turned her weight issues around. She's also revamped her greedy celebrity side, after donating gifts from her baby shower to needy families.

• Everyone’s favourite twin/bag lady impersonator, Mary-Kate Olsen, has been hospitalized for a “kidney infection.” Like Lindsay Lohan’s favourite excuse “exhaustion,” a kidney infection may be Hollywood-speak for a drug overdose, alcohol poisoning or malnutrition from a starvation diet. For Olsen’s sake, a former anorexic, we hope this isn’t the case.

• Ladies and gentleman, there is a god: Britney Spears is no longer allowed to drive with her children in the car. After running over multiple paparazzis’ feet (and even a police officer’s) in her Mercedes, a judge ruled Spears’ kids were in danger. Spears’ lawyer now claims Britney has taken unknown security measures to protect the well-being of her sons. It’s hard to believe, but the best protection for the Spederline offspring would probably be giving K.Fed sole custody.

Kanye West’s mother died late last week after complications from plastic surgery. Although he cancelled a Victoria’s Secret performance, West is continuing to tour in his mother’s honour, reasoning that his mother was always his biggest fan and loved to see him perform. Those familiar with West’s work know he often mentions his childhood and his love for his mother in his songs. In fact, this story is so sad even 50 Cent had nothing mean to say.

• The apocalypse must be nigh; why else would Nicole Richie be acting so nice this week? Richie and her baby’s daddy, faux-punk rocker Joel Madden, recently formed the Richie Madden foundation. Through the charity, they will be donating the gifts they received from Richie’s baby shower to 100 expecting, needy families in Los Angeles. Kudos to Richie for supporting those less fortunate " even if it might just be a publicity stunt.

• In a recent interview, Will Smith admitted he believes in Scientology. How sad that one of Hollywood’s most bankable star has joined the ranks of Tom Cruise and John Travolta. What’s next, Will? A contract bride? Hidden homosexuality? An alien baby? For shame.

• Like Nicole Richie before her, Lindsay Lohan served only 84 minutes of a two-day jail term last week for her multiple DUIs " celebrity justice at its finest. At least we can take solace in the fact that walking STI Paris Hilton was forced to serve her full sentence. That sweet memory will live on forever.

• You know that stereotype that says all models are stupid? There may be some truth to it. Project Runway host and Victoria’s Secret model Heidi Klum told Ellen Degeneres she got parenting advice from Britney Spears. Yes, Britney Spears. Apparently Klum didn’t know what the velcro on her baby’s diaper is for " this is a mother of three we’re talking about. Hopefully Klum’s nannies are very well-paid.

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