Coke and tots round out week in celebrity dirt

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

Jared Leto

• In sad news that has shocked the entertainment world, former Oscar nominee Heath Ledger was found dead in his New York City apartment on Tuesday. After starting out in teen fare like 10 Things I Hate About You, Ledger avoided typecasting by choosing films with greater depth, such as with his role in the award-winning Brokeback Mountain. Ledger had recently split with his ex-fiancée, Dawson’s Creek-alumna and Brokeback co-star Michelle Williams. Ledger’s autopsy results are inconclusive, and toxicology results are expected to take a few weeks. He is survived by his and Williams’s two-year-old daughter, Matilda Rose.

Ashley Olsen is determined to distinguish herself from her twin Mary-Kate. Her strategy: dating DILFs. Back in November, Ashley, 21, was rumored to have made out with Lance Armstrong, 37. Armstrong denied the rumors and said Ashley was a nice, smart lady. Recently, Ashley showed just how nice, smart, and ladylike she could be by hooking up with Jared Leto, 36, for the second time. According to witnesses, she is now officially on the eyeliner wearing, skinny jeans-rocking actor’s dating resume, which includes similarly nice, smart ladies like Scarlett Johansson and Lindsay Lohan.

• According to the New York Post, The Hills star Heidi Montag’s enhanced assets have been losing their effect as her fiancé Spencer Pratt’s eyes were straying at the Cloverfield premiere. Sources claim he even ditched Montag to ask for another girl’s number. The duo was quick to defend its commercially successful love and devotion to one another.

Bobby Brown is scheduled to appear in court next month for cocaine possession. No surprise there. Brockton Police Department officers in Brockton, Massachusetts, found drugs in the former Mr. Whitney Houston’s car. When caught, he asked police to “use discretion” and not press charges. Stealth, Bobby. Stealth.

Casey Aldridge, ex-boyfriend of Jamie Lynn Spears, has entered the denial stage of teenage fatherhood. A family friend told the tabloids, “Casey doesn’t want to be with [Spears] until he’s sure that he’s the father.” Ouch. Not only is he dumping her, he’s calling her a cheater. In a very tacky, Maury-like manner, Aldridge has demanded a paternity test to prove he is legally expected to pay child support. A family friend has said even if the paternity tests come back positive, he has no intention of getting married just yet. Just what we need: another teenage mama without the baby’s daddy by her side.

Britney Spears seems to have gotten over her head-shaving, umbrella-attacking phase. She has now moved on to going pantless and speaking with a British accent " as we all do from time to time. Last week, she traumatized employees at hip L.A. boutique Kitson while browsing the store in her birthday suit. She then traumatized the rest of us by coming out of the store in a men’s dress shirt, black tie, and ripped fish nets. Maybe pants are so last breakdown?

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