Uncover the mystery of tantric sex

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

Positions: Daily Devotion, The Scissors, Yab-Yum, The Nurturing Position

The last time you heard about Tantra was likely in American Pie, but it turns out Finch is not alone as a devotee to this increasingly popular form of sex.

To many, it conjures only vague images of hippies impossibly contorting themselves into weird sexual positions. But the truth is you don’t have to be a Taoist from the Far East to take advantage of Tantra’s teachings.

“A lot of people are interested in Tantra, it kind of blows my mind,” Suzie Heumann, founder of Tantra.com, notes.

In Tantric Secrets for Men, Kerry and Diane Riley define Tantra as meaning “to expand, to be free, to be liberated.

“One of my favourite things about Tantra is how it treats sex as something sacred, not just two people bumping uglies.”

It even uses different language. Tantra uses the Sanskrit word yoni (pronounced yoh-nee) for both the vagina and vulva, while lingam (pronounced ling-gum) is used for the penis.

Tantra also teaches sex should be a celebrated union between two people, rather than something taboo or sinful. It’s a way of opening the flow of energy between partners and showing how the role of the mind, body and spirit are all equally important for the sexual experience.

Before you roll your eyes, understand if you take this seriously, you will experience sex like never before; We’re talking multi-level orgasms " full body convulsions for both men and women. It’ll also change your daily life " you’ll see the world through different eyes.

Tantric sex is about channeling your energies. Next time you’re “in the act,” focus on the sensation in your genitals and try to move it throughout your body. It is helpful to imagine it in your head " picture the energy coursing up and down each leg, across your torso, even into your head.

By gaining control over your energy, you are no longer passive to your sexual urges. This can change your life forever " from helping men who pre-ejaculate to allowing both men and women to reach full body orgasms.

Heumann described an amazing technique for massages, where one partner focuses on his or her sexual energy and moves it to his or her fingertips.

“If they can erotize their own fingertips, their partner is having a fucking good time,” Heumann points out.

But Tantric sex isn’t only about neat stunts.

While Heumann admits the neat sexual techniques and positions in Tantric sex can be great, she explains, “The technique is there to learn and then forget.”

When you’ve been practising Tantra for a long time, the techniques meld into your normal sex routine so easily, it’s difficult to remember what old sex used to feel like.

On the other hand, there are awkward moments when you’re first learning. You’ll be sitting naked with your partner, trying to figure out whose foot goes where and how, but if you trust each other and you communicate, it shouldn’t be a problem.

Couples can benefit greatly from Tantra. The level of intimacy partners can reach just from simple positions is astounding.

“If you spend five minutes just gazing into [one another’s eyes], just in silence … that’s an opening of vulnerability that breaks down a lot of barriers,” Heumann explains.

Even those who choose not to have sex can benefit from the teachings of Tantra. Heumann recalled how some people have achieved spontaneous orgasm without even taking off their clothes. Just focusing on breathing, eye gazing and moving sexual energy while sitting in the yab-yum position can be enough.

“There’s a lot there no matter what your situation is,” Heumann notes.

The single male or female can also benefit from Tantra.

Heumann suggested masturbation as a technique for learning more about your body and how it responds.

Focusing on and directing your sexual energy while self-pleasuring, or even sitting and gazing into your own eyes in front of a mirror can increase your love for and comfort with yourself.

A person’s sex life will be heightened by practising Tantra, but your daily life will be altered as well.

In Western culture, people often exist in the past or future, but rarely take the time to focus on the present. Especially in university, where our lives are shaped by the next assignment or exam, we forget to live in the moment.

Heumann explains Tantra acts as a vehicle to help you to fall out of this pattern. Instead of working only for the final moment of ecstasy, in Tantric sex you learn to get pleasure from the build-up as well.

“You’re building your own Chi, your own energy. That fills out in all of your life, your attitude and your presence with everyone ... It’s a life booster,” she says.

And she’s not lying.

When you stop focusing on only the gold at the end of the rainbow, but also take the time for the journey there as well, your sex will never be the same, and neither will your life.

Positions/Techniques:
Daily Devotion
This can be very difficult to master, but is great for healing and gaining greater connection between partners. You should be locked in four places: your mouths, legs, arms and genitals. The key to this position is to master enough self-control to stay motionless.

The Scissors
This begins with no physical movement. According to the Rileys, both partners should envision an orange sphere of energy radiating from their sexual centres. Enter into a meditative state by sending your energy back and forth between each other. Contract the vaginal muscles regularly to help stimulate the male erection. This can be great before or after sex.

Yab-Yum
This is a great position for improving your connection with your partner. Sit like this for up to half an hour. Gaze into each other’s eyes and share your feelings about each other. The Rileys suggest saying things like, “What I enjoy about making love is...” and “What I don’t enjoy about making love is...”

The Nurturing Position
According to the Rileys, this position can be used to bond during an argument. Both your heart and sexual centres are connected, which certainly makes it difficult to stay angry for long. It’s also generally just a very comfortable position and is great for cuddling after sex as well.

Taken from Kerry and Diane Riley’s Tantric Secrets for Men

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