Kids hate Soulja Boy, Jamie Lynn gets hitched

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

Justin Timberlake

Pregnant 16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears, sister to train wreck Britney and a successful teen actress in her own right, is reportedly engaged to her baby’s daddy, 18-year-old Casey Aldridge. Because nothing says true love forever like throwing a shotgun wedding when the bride’s not even old enough to vote.

The Hills premiered Monday night as part of a one-hour special hosted by two of the show’s stars, Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port. Mariah Carey even appeared on the special to promote her latest album. Conspicuously absent from the hosting slot, however, was Hills star Audrina Patridge, whose nude modeling photos recently leaked online. Maybe she was tied up entertaining offers from Playboy.

Demi Moore revealed to David Letterman that she uses leech therapy to detoxify her blood. Yes, that’s right. She pays a spa to attach leeches to her body to suck out her blood. Perhaps trephination, bloodletting and soaking in the blood of 50 virgins were deemed too radical?

Justin Timberlake recently donated $100,000 each to two music foundations in his home state of Tennessee. Unusually, Timberlake set aside his famous cockiness and made the donations with little fanfare or publicity. So he’s talented, funny, generous and a little humble " what’s he doing with C-lister Jessica Biel again?

George Clooney must have made some everyday women (and men) very happy when he held the premiere of his new movie, Leatherheads, in Duluth, Minnesota. Population: around 87,000. It may seem like an odd choice, but Clooney’s father and aunt were both born there, and in fact, his famous aunt Rosemary Clooney premiered one of her films there in 1953, as well. Why couldn’t London be so lucky?

Paul McCartney’s ex, Heather Mills, reportedly plans to pen several children’s fantasy books. She is apparently inspired by the stories from her young daughter, Beatrice. It’s hard to imagine there’s a person alive who would want their child reading a story written by a gold-digging former soft-core porn model, but with Mills’ $48 million settlement from McCartney, we imagine she could bribe a few parents.

Amidst talk of a potential Beverly Hills 90210 remake hitting airwaves next season, the epitome of beauty, Tori Spelling, says that she would love to be a part of the show’s cast. “Every teen drama needs a M.I.L.F., right?” Spelling asked. She may be right about that, but her self-awareness could use a tune-up.

Poor Priscilla Presley. There’s a reason why Elvis’ ex looks so strange. News broke this week that a shady doctor injected an illegal substance into her face after convincing her it was better than Botox. The substance? A form of silicone used in Argentina to lubricate car parts. Not surprisingly, the silicone can cause paralysis, lumps and even create holes in the faces of those injected with it. Sounds like Presley’s too-young face got off easy.

A 12-year-old boy was recently arrested after throwing a rock at Soulja Boy’s tour bus. His rationale? “I hate Soulja Boy!” If even children can’t stand Soulja Boy, one thing’s for sure: his career’s not long for this world.

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