New Whitehouse reality-TV hits Fox

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

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On Monday, Fox executives unveiled their latest reality-TV venture, Who Wants To Be Invaded By America? " a new series in which third-world countries vie for top spot on America’s long list of countries swimming in poverty and corruption, “ripe for regime change.”

“Get ready, America, because you’re about to choose the country " sovereign or illegitimate " that the U.S. will forcefully occupy next,” Fox Chairman & CEO Roger Ailes said. He was joined by a visibly excited President Bush.

“Things just weren’t working with the U.N. and ‘their ways’. Being the world’s only superpower, I can tell you that it gets mighty frustrating trying to choose who to take on next, so I decided to wash my hands and let the people decide,” Bush said. “Besides, there’ll be less of an outcry from the international community.”

Ailes described the new show as “American Idol meets American Gladiators.” The highly anticipated series will feature embattled presidential and monarchial contestants squaring off in various intellectual and physical challenges, concluding at the final one-on-one event: the swimsuit competition.

“I have to admit, these guys really get into it,” Michael Wolf, production manager on the show, said. “Just wait until you see the fur fly between Djibouti and Somalia. It’s a real nail-biter.”

A panel of celebrity judges will help eliminate two contestants each week, leaving one lucky leader the undisputed focus of invasion at the end of the season. Naturally, viewers can participate by casting phone-in votes, although Ailes noted voting is restricted to calls originating from within the continental U.S.

Contestant Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of the Islamic Republic of Iran, told reporters he had a “good feeling” about his nation’s chances.

“I just really believe I am going to win this show,” Ahmadinejad said. “I feel it in my heart; Allah is going to grant me the chance to help the Iranian people. Ever since I was a little boy, I’ve dreamed of doing something to start a war with the Americans.

“And did I mention I look cute in a bathing suit? I didn’t wax my bikini zone for nothing, you know.”

The first episode has already been taped in front of a live studio audience, but results will remain classified until airtime. The winner of Who Wants To Be Invaded By America? will be sworn in June 24 in a gala two-hour season finale broadcast live from the White House.

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