Indianans footloose, MTSU's Sharpie abuse

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

Anderson, IN â€" Girls at Anderson University in Indiana can now look forward to awkward shuffling beneath spinning disco balls to the tune of Aerosmith’s “Don’t Want to Miss a Thing.”

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, after 90 years, Anderson University held its first on-campus dance. The free event was hosted at the O.C. Lewis Gymnasium, with several hundred students attending.

The institution was founded in 1917 by the Church of God, and forbade dances until a trustee-approved change last fall. Though the university has held formals since the early 1990s, those events have been off-campus.

One can imagine the reports describing the boys staying on one end of the room, occasionally rushing over to the girls’ side to engage in dancing at arm’s length â€" ensuring enough space for the Holy Spirit.

Los Angeles, CA â€" It seems the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) should have spent a little more time paying attention in math class.

A 2005 study commissioned by the MPAA cited college and university campuses as being responsible for 44 per cent of illegal movie downloads. Upon further review, the number was lowered to 15 per cent.

Some critics say the statistics are still distorted as they do not differentiate between downloads on campus networks and downloads by college students off-campus.

The MPAA has used the study to assist in lobbying the US House of Representatives to pass stricter laws governing downloading on campuses. The MPAA has said it would hire a third party to validate the results of the study.

Murfreesboro, TN â€" Shenanigans were abundant at Middle Tennessee State University last Monday, as Sharpie misuse resulted in aggravated assault charges for one young man.

For those who don’t know, a “shaming” is the inevitable result of passing out at a party with your shoes on. Although there are numerous techniques to ensure the most embarrassment, the classic “drawing penis on the face with a Sharpie” still reigns supreme.

Though victims of shaming rarely react well, in this case the “marked man” allegedly pulled a knife and demanded to know which self-proclaimed artist had sketched genitalia on his forehead.

The 25-year-old then attempted to clean the image off his face, as other party attendants phoned the police. Unfortunately, officers arrived after he had cleaned his face, robbing the world of a sure-to-be-amusing mugshot.

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