Shitty food, nerds on scooters

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

Vancouver, BC " Simon Fraser University may actually serve the worst campus food in Canada.

More than 500 unhappy attendees at SFU have joined together online against poor quality food served on campus.

Student complaints are lodged against the main cafeteria provider, Chartwells. A Facebook group called “Chartwells: a modern day injustice,” calls for students to join if they want to get rid of the “evil” cafeteria company.

Maclean’s magazine investigated the cafeteria conflict by sending food reviewers to SFU and eight other Canadian universities. Out of the nine schools, SFU scored last place with only one-and-a-half stars out of five.

The accommodations look grim, but at least their pitas are served sans salmonella.

Cambridge, MA " When it comes to DIY, nerds on scooters probably aren’t the first things that come to mind.

However, a robotics team at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology has designed a fleet of do-it-yourself Segways, and posted building instructions on the internet.

On its website, the group of geeks provide the following disclaimer:

“DIY Segways, like any large machines, can be hazardous if appropriate safety precautions are not observed ... Attempt/build at your own risk!”

If you happen to be interested in constructing your own pimp-and-roll device, visit http://web.mit.edu/first/segway.

Rochester, NY " Dean Vernon Wormer has put yet another fraternity under “double secret probation,” after it was caught with numerous drug and alcohol violations.

While Bluto and the gang aren’t in attendance, Rochester University in New York has put Theta Chi Fraternity on an inactive “censured status” until the fall of 2010.

It seems the partying at the frat came to a head, resulting in a non-alcoholic event that saw the Rochester Police and Rural Metro Ambulance Service called to assist a “blotto Bluto.”

Apparently, the non-alcoholic event was just a clever front, as fraternity members were actually serving alcohol. After the men in blue arrived, fraternity members were “resistant and incompliant.”

Under the new rules, inactive fraternity members may no longer remain in their house, reside together or recruit new members.

Whether the rival “Delta” frat will exact revenge has yet to be seen. We’ll keep you posted " just so we can add more Animal House references.

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