Inane theme days!

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

February 15, 2007 Ed Cartoon

Rather than condemning Valentine’s Day as a commercial holiday, The Gazette encourages more useless and random theme days throughout the year. In fact, we’ve drafted an alphabetical list of suggestions.

A " Adirondacks Day. Why not take a day to celebrate the ecological beauty that is the Adirondack mountains?

B " Braless Day. Let’s bring back the free-wheeling, bra-burning ’60s.

C " Cult Day. We could learn more about our punch-drinking cult friends, like Scientologists.

D " Dildo Day. Speaks for itself.

E " Electric Circus Day. Wear funky outfits as you groove and dance the day away.

F " Fire Day. Like snakes, fire has a bad reputation. On this day, all meals would be cooked over an open fire to remind us why fire is our friend. And maybe we’d burn shit once the parents went to bed.

G " Grunge Day. Flannel is preferred. So is skipping a shower or two.

H " Hosier Day. It’s like Grunge Day, but people also could play hockey all day, say “eh” more than usual, eat back bacon and drink domestic beer.

I " Illness Day. You can celebrate various diseases, perhaps by making up interpretative dances or writing haikus about them.

J " Jaywalk Day. Think of the havoc resulting from everyone in London crossing the street anywhere they like. It’s as liberating as Braless Day but with more potential for injury.

K " Karma Day. Do something nice for someone else. Or don’t and wait for the wrath.

L " Lego Day. Take the day off to build things. Dad will get pissed when he steps on the blocks all over the house.

M " Mail-It-In Day. You’d still go to work, but you’d give a half-assed effort all day. Every day is Mail-It-In Day at The Gazette.

N " Naked Day. What could be better?

O " Offside Day. Take the opportunity to say ridiculously inappropriate things all day. For anyone who worries people might be offended, at least we didn’t call it O.J. Simpson Day.

P " Porn Day. Watch porn, make porn and take advantage of being able enjoy porn on your work computer.

Q " Q Day. The letter Q doesn’t get enough respect, so this day would celebrate all things Q.

R " Redundant Day. It’s a lot like Q Day.

S " Sarcasm Day. Yeah, that’s a great idea. Brilliant, Einstein.

T " Taco Day. Take this with whatever innuendo you like.

U " Underwater Day. You could go swimming and break out some dive sticks.

V " Viking Day. Dress up like Vikings, eat with your hands and take the opportunity to raid and pillage.

W " Wino Day. Everyone can lie around in soiled clothing drinking booze out of brown paper bags.

X " X-treme Day. Be rad to the max all day and bust out corked 360 roast beefs with mayo on your scooter.

Y " A perfect followup to that brutal Wino Day hangover. Plus, yaks are sweet animals.

Z " Zzz Day. It’s been a long time since Mail-It-In Day. We need a nap.

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