06/07 Letter Awards

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

Dumbest Letter
We’ve been saving this...

Re: “Feminists must stop crying wolf”
Nov. 23, 2007

To the Editor:
In the beginning....hmmm, no, no, no that doesn’t sound right. Aha~! I know...Once upon a time in a stretch of beautiful garden somewhere on Western campus there lived a beautiful and enigmatic creature known throughout biblical scripture as Eve. Eve, as we are told, lived in this garden with her playmate, Adam. Adam was not very bright; he really did not know what to do with Eve. Scripture did not allow for both Eve and Adam to, you know, get it on. [...] “God” said Adam, “what is feminism?” Eve giggles and fidgets with her hair beside Adam. “How dare you speak such blasphemy?” decried God! “Such wickedness and filth lie in a place forbidden to both of you! You shall not enter that part of the garden that spawns such sinful fruit!”

[The letter goes on like this for another 500 words]

Thankfully, for Eve, Adam was no longer flaccid and he considered using his “bone” for other things like “tool making” and...well, he still has much to learn and so does Eve.
"Doretta Klaric
Hons. Women’s Studies/Anthropology

If you’re looking for some insightful or funny writing or procrastinating during study time, these letters are worth looking up on The Gazette’s online archives.

Best Letters of the Year
• “Straight debate spurs hate” (Dec. 5, 2006, Megan Adams and Craig Ashborne)
• “VP Lopes treated unfairly by USC” (March. 16, 2007, Ben Gordon)

Most Published Letter Writer
• Jason Brown, for letters published: Sept. 9 and 27, Oct. 20, Nov. 21, Feb. 9, March 13 and 28

Angriest/Most Controversial Letter Writer
• Trevor Stunden, for “Angry Rant” (Sept. 15, 2006), “Fab’s FQ not so fab” (Sept. 22, 2006) and “Don’t run into this guy at Weldon” (Feb. 15, 2007)

Most Scathing Letter
• “An act of hate has occurred” (Oct. 13, 2006, Kristina Greenaway)

Most Outrageous Letter
• “Looking for ‘Ugg boots girl’” (March 14, 2007, Pawel Marek)

Funniest Letter
• “Back in my day...” (Oct. 11, 2007, Dave Joyce)

Most Ghetto Letter
• “U of T’s tobacco stocks all about the Benjamins” (Jan. 23, 2007, Erik Phair)

Best Faculty Representation
• Tyler Bromley and Victoria Bromely, Faculty of Music, for “Reynolds’ campaign faces the music” (March 6, 2007) and “To the PDA couple in Music” (March 14, 2007)

Least Thought-out Letter
• “Silence is Justified” (Nov. 10, 2006, Greg Wagland)

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