Thanks for the salmonella, Western food services

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

To the editor:
I would like to thank and congratulate you, Western Food Services. No really, thank you. Finally, you have successfully sent us asshole university students to the hospital with your shitty-ass food.

We certainly appreciate the experience. Yep, thoroughly enjoyable. Although some people may have missed the sign that said: “Today’s Special: Pay $5 for tasteless crap and receive free salmonella poisoning.”

I can’t believe that deal even included ceaseless vomiting and diarrhea " a regular value of your health " only at the cost of your grades! That’s okay " we didn’t have to write that midterm anyway.

It’s unfortunate it was only available for a limited time while contaminated quantities lasted. Or at least until the Middlesex-London health inspectors got on the scene. Oh, by the way, the inspectors are sorry for their absence before the outbreak " they were on vacation in Fiji.

One teensy problem, though " I guess the “general public” prefers to stay healthy (I know, what gives?) and people view a hospital as a place to go when something is “wrong.”

So maybe it’s not a good idea to slack when it comes to health and safety. Just a suggestion. Oh, and apparently people have a problem with expired food. I just thought I’d throw that out there.

But good job on the food variety " now we have healthy food places. I can get Evian water for $3 and a salad for only $6, which is understandable considering the two and a half cherry tomatoes are really expensive.

So, again, thank you so much for realizing people actually live on campus (key word: live), and providing them with some drama over Western’s ass-tastic food. A business with legal issues never bores.
"Erin Haertel
Astrophysics II

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