Washroom editor cleans up slanderous scribble

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

To the editor:
Much like yourself, I am also an editor at this school, but I go about my business in a much more anonymous way. I like to be referred to as the “Bathroom Editor.”

As my copyrighted title suggests, I go into washroom stalls and edit the slanderous, mean and hateful things written on the stall wall into nice, joyous and funny things.

My most recent work can be found in the male washrooms at D.B. Weldon Library on the third and fourth floors. Although I do not condone bathroom writing, I sometimes find it necessary to edit the filth on the wall. With a few strokes of the pen, I alter letters and insert new words.

Here are a few examples of my work over the last month. I changed “Fuck You!” into “I play hockey with a puck, don’t you?” by carefully editing the “f” into a “p” and inserting a couple words.

Another one I found said “Hollister = Gay.” I changed this into “Hollister = May I be your friend” " a nice twist encouraging friendship between Hollister clothing supporters.

I changed “How many girls have you had sex with?” into “How many exams have you written?” since it was around the time of midterms.

My most recent example was “White Pride World Wide.” After thinking about it for several minutes I edited this into “A White Manned Pride of Lions cannot be found World Wide, only in African Safaris.” Wow, I’m good.

Voilã. There you have it. I would encourage my fellow students to take on this behaviour as well. Anytime you see bathroom filth, whip out that red pen and edit it. Clean up campus one letter at a time.
Biology II

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