Charity Ball a soph-fest for douchebags

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

To the editor:
This past Saturday, I was exposed to one of the highest levels of douchebaggery known to man. I am speaking, of course, of Charity Ball.

What exactly is one supposed to do at Charity Ball? Is one to be in awe of the dazzling decorations (three poorly placed couches, seven tables, 14 chairs and one pathetic ice sculpture)?

Is one supposed to boogey on the dance floor? I can slum it at Jim Bob’s Monday through Sunday. Is one supposed to tie one on at the bar? Pretty difficult when a rum and coke goes for $6.

Is one supposed to have an in-depth conversation with his or her peers? Kind of hard to do over the excessively loud music, wouldn’t you say?

Oh, and that’s another thing " the music itself. I felt like I was swimming in a sea of ridiculous sexuality and bad poetry. I could whistle a better tune out of my asshole.

My biggest problem with Saturday night was simply that it was not about charity at all. It was, instead, yet another excuse for Western’s illustrious sophs and go-getters to dress in monkey suits and get a false sense they are contributing to the greater good.

Give me a break. Did you not get enough of that during O-Week? Don’t get me wrong; I’m all for charity. In fact, I have for years donated numerous bags of clothing to the Goodwill.

I will guarantee that upwards of 75 per cent of people in attendance had no clue what charity the proceeds were even going to:“The Big Sisters Go-Girl Campaign”

If you find yourself in agreement with the above statements, perhaps you will share this with your friends. The more who understand this, the better it will be for our school and our future.

And as for any rebuttals, spare me. I have heard everything you pretentious Western girls and mucky-muck Western boys have to say and you guessed it " I don’t care.
"Matthew Barnes
Science IV

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