Ice-cold pranks that will annoy your friends

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

Filling a car with snow

Jon Purdy

MR. JOHNSON APPRECIATED WHEN THE BOYS NEXT DOOR OFFERED TO SHOVEL HIS DRIVEWAY, BUT THEY WEREN’T THE BRIGHTEST. Filling a roommate’s car with snow is one of many pranks winter makes possible.

There’s no better way to keep warm during a cold Canadian winter than warming your heart through laughter. Nothing brings more wholesome laughter than humiliating close friends with a good prank.

During winter, all would-be prankers are blessed with helpful ingredients like a giant freezer outside your door and, when lucky, plentiful snow. The best pranks leave victims cold and wet.

Before I share some of my winter favourites, I caution pranksters that I haven’t tried these pranks. I don’t recommend you try them either. I’m only saying how funny it would be if someone pulled these stunts on loved ones.

Also remember practical jokes are only funny when they’re tasteful. The time it takes a prankee to clean themselves or their property after the incident should never exceed the time it took a pranker to plan and execute. A disparity in this ratio results in resentment and anger instead of a prankee laughing at a good old-fashioned humiliation.

Does your roommate have an early class or an important job interview? Nothing says good morning like all your underwear frozen solid. Most likely, you’ll have to wet your victim’s underwear first, then stack it neatly outside. The cardboard-like quality of the underwear will surely earn a chuckle.

Stealing a friend’s car keys and filling their vehicle with snow is a classic. Be courteous and do it after the car has been outside all day so the car is cold and the snow won’t melt everywhere.

With proper motivation you could bring enough snow past front desk security to fill the hallway in front of a friend’s rez door. The right victim should be an easily discouraged person who will turn around and go back to bed after finding their doorway blocked with snow.

Pouring warm water over surfaces is a great way to freeze things shut. Window ledges, door hinges and especially car-door handles and locks are hilarious options. Avoid spreading water on glass surfaces though, since cracking is a possibility.

Eventually, your creative pranking will cause formerly unsuspecting victims to become paranoid and lock their doors. If you’re prepared to up the ante, all you need is a baking sheet.

Cover the bottom of the baking sheet with a thin layer of the liquid of your choice. The more odorous the liquid, the better.

Place the baking sheet outside until it’s well frozen. Crack the frozen substance out of the baking sheet and slide it under your victim’s locked door.

Overnight, the ice will melt and your friend will have a puddle of “water” in the middle of their floor.

Every winter has warm phases when snow is hard to find. Just remember, even in the off-season, freezers are a practical joker’s friend, and the local arena always has a pile of Zamboni snow out back.

Happy pranking, and please don’t call me if your friend is more creative and badly embarrasses you.

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